bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
In the bustling city of Blunderburg, a pair of hapless kidnappers, Doug and Todd, relied heavily on their trusty GPS to navigate their dubious endeavors. In the main event, the duo received an unexpected software update mid-kidnapping, causing their GPS to lead them astray. Unbeknownst to them, their intended victim, a fitness enthusiast named Terry, took the opportunity to turn the tables on his misguided captors. As the GPS-guided escapade unfolded, the kidnappers found themselves in comically absurd situations, from accidentally crashing a yoga class to attempting a "kidnapper's special" dance routine at a dance studio. Terry, always one step ahead, managed to convince the misguided duo that the kidnapping was a reality TV show, and they were unwitting contestants in a bizarre game.
In the conclusion, the GPS finally recalibrated, and Doug and Todd, still clueless about their unintended detours, celebrated their newfound fame as the stars of a nonexistent reality show. Terry, free from his "captors," chuckled at the absurdity of the situation, leaving the city of Blunderburg with a tale of misguided criminals and the unintentional comedy of technological hiccups.
0
0
Meet Mabel, the world's most endearing grandma with a penchant for knitting quirky sweaters. One sunny afternoon, Mabel received a mysterious phone call claiming they had kidnapped her beloved cat, Mr. Whiskers. In the main event, Mabel, being a feisty octogenarian, decided to take matters into her own hands. She meticulously knit a sweater covered in neon-colored ransom notes and insisted on a quirky ransom exchange in the local park. As the awkward ransom exchange unfolded, Mabel, unaware of the absurdity, handed over a basket of catnip-laced yarn balls, thinking she had outsmarted the kidnappers. Much to her surprise, the so-called kidnappers were a group of neighborhood kids who had mistaken Mr. Whiskers for their own missing cat. The situation turned into a chaotic blend of slapstick comedy as Mabel tried to teach the kids the art of knitting while unraveling the yarn of her own misadventure.
In the conclusion, Mabel discovered the mix-up, and instead of scolding the kids, she hosted a knitting workshop, creating a community of colorful yarn enthusiasts. The once-kidnappers became the yarn club's biggest supporters, and Mabel's knitting circle grew into a heartwarming tale of unlikely friendships, all sparked by a feline case of mistaken identity.
0
0
In the quaint town of Chuckleville, Mrs. Jenkins, renowned for her award-winning cookies, found herself entangled in an unexpected escapade. The notorious cookie thief, mistakenly believed to be a kidnapper by the town's overly imaginative residents, triggered a series of humorous events. In the main event, Mrs. Jenkins, blissfully unaware of the chaos her baking prowess had caused, continued to perfect her cookie recipes. As the town buzzed with paranoia, the mayor organized a "Cookie Crisis Committee" to tackle the so-called kidnapping epidemic. The climax reached its peak when Mrs. Jenkins, oblivious to the chaos, entered the committee meeting, offering her freshly baked cookies as a peace offering. The cookie-crazed committee members, convinced they had captured the infamous kidnapper, declared victory, and the town celebrated with an impromptu cookie festival.
In the conclusion, Mrs. Jenkins, still unaware of the confusion, marveled at the newfound popularity of her cookies. Chuckleville, now known as the town that thwarted the cookie kidnapper, embraced the hilarity of the situation, and the Cookie Crisis Committee became an annual event, bringing the community together in a lighthearted celebration of cookies and mistaken identities.
0
0
Once upon a time in the quirky town of Nonsensica, lived Benny, an absent-minded florist with an unwavering passion for daisies and a knack for finding trouble. One fateful day, he stumbled upon a mysterious briefcase while watering his prized petunias. Little did Benny know that the briefcase belonged to a gang of bumbling kidnappers planning their next caper. In the main event, Benny, completely oblivious to the nefarious contents of the briefcase, paraded around town showing off his newfound treasure. Unbeknownst to him, the kidnappers were frantically searching for their misplaced plans, convinced they had been foiled by a rival gang. As Benny unknowingly joined the misadventure, the situation escalated into a comedy of errors, with the kidnappers mistaking him for their eccentric leader due to his ridiculous flower-themed attire.
The climax reached its peak when Benny, donned in a floral cape, accidentally led the kidnappers to a local costume party, where everyone mistook the criminals for committed method actors. The absurdity of the situation left everyone in stitches. In the conclusion, Benny, still oblivious, returned home with his briefcase, unaware of the chaos he inadvertently caused. The kidnappers, realizing their folly, decided to pursue more sensible endeavors, leaving Nonsensica with a newfound appreciation for the power of unintentional heroics.
0
0
So, I was reading about this guy who tried to be a kidnapper but failed miserably. He picked the wrong van, and it was actually an undercover cop convention. Talk about bad luck! The cops are all in the van like, "Freeze! Drop the duct tape and step away from the ransom note!" And the guy's like, "Wait, is this not the kidnapping seminar?"
Imagine being the cop who goes home that day. "Honey, you won't believe what happened at work. We arrested a kidnapper who thought we were his support group!
0
0
You ever hear about kidnappers? Yeah, apparently, they have like this support group called Kidnappers Anonymous. Can you imagine that? Like, "Hi, I'm Dave, and I used to kidnap people." And everyone else just nods like, "Hi, Dave." It's like an evil version of Alcoholics Anonymous. I picture them sitting in a circle, sharing kidnapping stories. "Last week, I accidentally grabbed the wrong guy. Turns out, he was an Uber driver. Awkward, right?" And another guy's like, "I kidnapped someone, and they just kept talking about their cats. I couldn't take it anymore, so I dropped them back."
I mean, can you imagine the awkward icebreakers they must do? "Tell us your most memorable kidnapping experience." It's like team-building exercises for criminals.
0
0
You know kidnappers are getting lazy when they start kidnapping people by mistake. "Hey, let's grab that guy. He looks rich." Turns out it's just a college student buried in student loans. The kidnapper's like, "Well, this is embarrassing. Want a ride home?" And they use ride-sharing apps now, it's like, "Kidnapping as a Service." You request a kidnapping, and someone shows up with a ski mask and a getaway car. "Your ride will arrive in 5 minutes. Please be ready to be blindfolded."
I can just imagine the kidnapper leaving a review for their victim: "Five stars for cooperation, but seriously, work on your small talk. I was expecting better banter during the ransom negotiation.
0
0
I heard they're organizing a Kidnapper Job Fair. Yeah, apparently, they have a booth next to the fast-food chains. Can you picture that? "Want fries with that? Or perhaps a side of ransom demands?" And they have brochures like, "Why Kidnapping Could Be Your Dream Career." Benefits include a flexible work schedule and the chance to wear disguises. Plus, they have a mascot named Snatch the Kidnapping Turtle. Okay, I made that last part up, but wouldn't that be bizarre?
0
0
Why did the kidnapper take a nap? Because he wanted to rest his hostage!
0
0
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now I'm a kidnapper – I knead the dough!
0
0
Why did the kidnapper take a cooking class? He wanted to learn how to 'abduct' flavors!
0
0
Why did the kidnapper join a band? He wanted to get a better 'abduction'!
0
0
Why did the kidnapper bring a ladder to the crime scene? He wanted to take the abduction to the next level!
0
0
I told the kidnapper he should get a job in comedy. He said, 'I already have a captive audience'!
0
0
Why did the kidnapper bring a calendar to the kidnapping? To plan for his 'abduction schedule'!
0
0
I told the kidnapper a joke, but he didn't laugh. I guess he had a 'hostile' sense of humor!
0
0
What did the kidnapper say at the costume party? 'I'm here to abduct the best costume award'!
0
0
I tried to become a kidnapper, but I couldn't get the right 'abduction'!
0
0
I told the kidnapper he should write a book. He said, 'I'm already working on a novel – it's a real thriller'!
0
0
I asked the kidnapper for his favorite music genre. He said 'heavy metal'!
0
0
What did the kidnapper say when he realized he kidnapped a math teacher? 'This is an addition to my criminal record'!
0
0
Why did the kidnapper become a gardener? He wanted to 'plant' some fear!
0
0
Why did the kidnapper break up with his girlfriend? She wanted more space!
Kidnap Victim
Trying to find humor while being in a terrifying situation.
0
0
You know it's a messed-up situation when you start giving the kidnapper tips on how to improve their ransom demands. 'Add a few emojis, maybe a GIF? Spice it up a bit.'
Negotiator Trying to Reason with Kidnappers
Keeping a straight face while negotiating absurd ransom demands.
0
0
The kidnapper asked for a helicopter for the ransom exchange. I said, 'Sure, do you want fries with that?' I mean, might as well upsell while negotiating for someone’s release.
Parent Dealing with Kidnappers
Balancing the seriousness of the situation with parental worry.
0
0
I told the kidnappers my kid is a picky eater. Good luck dealing with that. I'm sure they'll bring him back, probably with a 'no refunds' sign hanging around his neck.
Police Handling a Kidnapping Case
Dealing with bureaucracy while trying to solve a serious crime.
0
0
Ever had to negotiate with a kidnapper over the phone while your boss stands behind you giving advice? It’s like a high-stakes conference call where your job's on the line.
Neighbor Observing a Kidnapping
Being in an awkward position while witnessing a serious crime.
0
0
The kidnapper drove off in a rusty old car. I thought, 'If you're going to commit a crime, at least have a sense of style!'
Wrong Directions
0
0
Kidnappers must have the worst GPS ever. Turn right in 500 feet. Wait, that’s a police station, not the drop-off point!
Unlikely Takeout Service
0
0
Kidnappers would make the worst food delivery people. Imagine ordering dinner and they show up like, Here’s your pizza, and by the way, I’ve taken your loved ones as a side order.
Office Complaints
0
0
I bet kidnappers have the most unusual HR complaints. Boss, I asked for a corner office, not a basement with steel bars!
Unexpected Tour Guides
0
0
Kidnappers would be the worst tour guides. Welcome to the sights of... a dark, undisclosed location. Over there, you can't see it, but it’s a breathtaking view.
Failed Dating Advice
0
0
I heard kidnappers give terrible dating advice. Just take them somewhere secluded, make sure they can't leave, and... oh wait, that’s not how you win someone's heart?
Napping on the Job
0
0
I heard kidnappers are always tired at work. It’s tough keeping up with those late-night demands. Ugh, another ransom call? Can't this wait till morning? I need my beauty sleep!
Awkward Resumes
0
0
Imagine trying to write a resume as a kidnapper. Skilled in discrete transportation, efficient hostage negotiation, and creating uncomfortable family reunions.
Secretive Networking
0
0
You think your job’s tough to explain at networking events? Imagine being a kidnapper. I’m in... uh, transportation logistics. No, no, not Uber. More like... involuntary travel arrangements.
Kidnappers Anonymous
0
0
You ever heard of Kidnappers Anonymous? It’s a support group for kidnappers trying to quit their job. I mean, talk about an awkward gathering. Hi, my name is Bob, and for the past five years, I’ve been scaring the living daylights out of people for a living.
Customer Service Nightmare
0
0
Kidnappers are the epitome of terrible customer service. Yes, your hostage will be delivered between 2 and 4 p.m. Please ensure someone's home to sign for it. Oh, and no returns or refunds, sorry!
0
0
You know it's a bad day when even kidnappers are like, "Nah, let's find someone else. This person's life is too complicated.
0
0
I'm thinking of starting a new business: "Rent-A-Kidnapper." For those days when life is too routine, and you just need a little excitement. "Spice up your week with a simulated life-threatening experience!
0
0
I heard about this guy who got kidnapped and then returned. He said it was like being on a really intense, unplanned vacation. All-inclusive, except you pay with your sanity.
0
0
Imagine being a kidnapper and realizing you've kidnapped someone who never stops talking. Suddenly, you're the one begging for mercy.
0
0
Kidnapping has got to be the only job where you can literally say, "I'm not here to make friends," and mean it.
0
0
Kidnappers must have a terrible GPS. "Take the third left after the red house, but not the one with the dog, he bites.
0
0
I bet kidnappers have a group chat where they share stories like, "Guess what happened to me today? The guy I kidnapped wanted gluten-free bread with his sandwiches!
0
0
Kidnappers must be the only criminals who have a "Customer Satisfaction" survey. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how was your kidnapping experience? Did our ransom demands meet your expectations?
0
0
You ever notice how kidnappers always choose the most inconvenient times? Like, I've got deadlines, bills to pay, and suddenly a kidnapper thinks, "This is the perfect moment for an adventure!
Post a Comment