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You know, I thought you said adulting would be all about exciting decisions and adventures, but it turns out, most of it is just trying to remember where you left your keys and wondering if you already shampooed your hair in the shower.
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I thought you said buying a house was a wise investment. Little did I know, it's mostly about fixing things you didn't even know could break and pretending you understand what the neighbors are talking about when they mention "property value.
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I thought you said cooking at home would save money, but now I have a spice rack that looks like it's auditioning for a cooking show, and my bank account is convinced it's funding a Michelin-starred restaurant.
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You know, I thought you said gardening would be therapeutic, but every time I try, I end up with dirt under my nails, a sore back, and a garden that looks like it's been attacked by rebellious vegetables.
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You ever notice that the more apps we have to make our lives easier, the more passwords we have to remember? I thought you said technology was supposed to simplify things, not turn us into secret agents with a list of code names.
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I thought you said being organized was the key to success, but my desk looks like a tornado hit it, and my to-do list is starting to resemble a novel with too many plot twists.
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I thought you said getting in shape would be empowering. Yet here I am, staring at a salad, trying to convince myself it's as satisfying as a burger while secretly plotting to steal a fry from my friend's plate.
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I thought you said becoming an adult meant mastering the art of small talk. Turns out, it's just smiling awkwardly and nodding when someone starts discussing their pet iguana's fashion preferences.
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I thought you said adulthood would involve sophisticated dinner parties and intellectual conversations. Turns out, it's mostly debating whether to order pizza or Chinese food while wearing pajamas.
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