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Who here goes to the gym? I recently joined, and my wife drops the bombshell, "I thought you said you'd get fit." Getting fit is like trying to fold a fitted sheet – it sounds simple until you actually try it. I'm at the gym, and I see people doing these crazy exercises. One guy's lifting a bar that looks like it weighs more than my student loans. Meanwhile, I'm on the treadmill, wondering if I can count scrolling through memes as cardio.
So, I had to defend myself. "Babe, I am getting fit. Mentally fit. I'm exercising my right to choose not to lift heavy things. It's a lifestyle choice.
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You ever try explaining technology to your parents? I called my dad for tech support, and he hit me with the classic, "I thought you said this computer was user-friendly." Now, let me tell you, explaining user-friendly to a man who still thinks VHS is cutting-edge is like trying to teach a cat to breakdance. So, I'm on the phone, and he goes, "Click the thing with the stuff." Dad, that's not helpful! That's like telling me to cook dinner with the ingredients. "I thought you said you were a chef." It's a tech tango, and I'm stepping on all the digital toes.
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You ever notice how communication in relationships can be like navigating a linguistic minefield? My wife and I were talking the other day, and she said, "I thought you said you'd fix the leaky faucet." Now, in my head, I'm thinking, "I did say that... in 2021." It's like, ladies, when we say we'll do something, we mean it, just not necessarily on your timeline. Time is relative in man-world. But here's the kicker – I can't argue with her. The minute you say, "I thought you said," you're caught. It's like pulling the pin on a relationship grenade. You can't put it back.
So, I tried to recover. I said, "Honey, I did fix it. I fixed it emotionally. The faucet now knows it's loved, and that's what matters.
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You ever go grocery shopping with your significant other? It's a relationship obstacle course. We were strolling through the aisles, and she throws the infamous "I thought you said" card. She looks at the cart and goes, "I thought you said you'd eat healthier." Now, let me tell you, folks, the vegetable section is like the Bermuda Triangle of the grocery store. I get lost there. Kale, quinoa, chia seeds – it's like a foreign language. I thought I was doing well with those pre-packaged salads until she pointed out they're basically just a pile of lettuce crying out for some flavor.
So, I had to explain myself. "Babe, I did pick healthier options. Look at these organic cookies – the cows that made the butter were probably into yoga. It's practically a salad.
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