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Why did the flame break up with the match? It said, 'Our relationship is getting too heated.
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I told my wife I wanted a burning passion in our relationship. Now we're banned from the fireplace.
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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down and refuse.
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My house caught fire, and the insurance company said it was an 'unforeseen embergency.
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Why did the arsonist become a comedian? He wanted to set the stage on fire.
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Ever had that moment when your house is on fire, and you're trying to remain calm, but your brain starts prioritizing like a dysfunctional GPS? 'Save the TV! No, the snacks! No, the sofa!' I ended up rescuing a throw pillow while the firemen were confused.
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During a house fire, everyone becomes an expert. 'Use baking soda!' 'Throw a rug on it!' I panicked and yelled, 'Water, we need water!' My neighbor handed me a bottle and said, 'Stay hydrated, buddy.' Guess who forgot to specify 'for the fire'!
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When your house is on fire, you expect the panic, the chaos. But no one tells you about the neighbors. Suddenly, I’m a local attraction! 'Is this a new barbecue joint?' No, it's just my attempt at cooking without a recipe!
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I thought I was prepared for everything until my house was on fire. Suddenly, I realized I had more phone chargers than fire extinguishers. I tried to douse the flames with a charger. All I got was a spark and a new appreciation for fire safety.
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When my house was on fire, my cat turned into a motivational speaker. 'You've got to be purr-sistent!' she said, while calmly walking out. I was torn between saving my belongings and signing up for her life coaching session!
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There's a fine line between bravery and foolishness. When my house was on fire, I grabbed my favorite blanket, thinking, 'Can't let this burn!' As I ran out, the firefighters exchanged looks that said, 'This guy has his priorities twisted.'
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My house caught fire, and I had to make split-second decisions. In the chaos, I remembered what they say about saving important documents. So, I rushed to save my birth certificate. Turns out, I grabbed my high school diploma. Well, at least I saved something useless!
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During a fire, they say to grab essentials. I panicked, so I grabbed my laptop, thinking, 'Can't lose those cat videos!' But then, in the midst of the chaos, my cat strutted past the flames like a boss. Turns out, he's the real keeper of those videos!
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Fire drills in school never prepared me for the real thing. My house caught fire, and suddenly I'm reenacting a chaotic scene from an action movie. I almost expected dramatic music as I valiantly saved… my collection of novelty socks.
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