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I asked the hitman for career advice. He told me to aim high and shoot for the stars.
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I hired a hitman to fix my car. Now it runs smoothly, but I'm afraid to ask how he did it.
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Why did the hitman apply for a job at the bakery? He wanted to knead dough, not people!
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Why did the hitman break up with his GPS? It kept giving him directions to 'dead ends.
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I told the hitman to make my ex disappear. He sent her to a magic show. Now I can't get rid of her!
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I hired a hitman to clean my room. Now there's just a big mess and a missing vacuum.
Hired Help
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You know, I was going through my to-do list the other day, and I saw this note that said hire hitman. I thought, Well, that's a bit extreme, but I guess we all have those days when the barista messes up our coffee order, right?
Hitman for Hire, Discount Included
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I did find this website that claims to offer hitman services at a discount. I thought, Wow, they're like the Groupon of the underworld. But then I realized the discount was only applicable if I referred a friend. I'm not sure I want to be part of that referral program.
Hitman's Dilemma
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I was thinking about the ethical dilemmas a hitman might face. Like, what if they're about to take out a target but then realize they have the wrong person? Awkward!
Hitman Therapy
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I bet hitmen need therapy. My client asked for a silent, quick death, but I just couldn't resist doing a dramatic monologue. Now they want a refund.
Hitman Job Interview
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I imagined what a job interview for a hitman would be like. So, what are your strengths? Well, I'm really good at keeping secrets, and I have excellent aim in video games.
Hitman Hobbies
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I bet hitmen have some interesting hobbies. Maybe they're into scrapbooking or baking. Imagine being the deadliest assassin by day and a contestant on The Great British Bake Off by night. This week, our hitman is attempting a killer soufflé.
Hitman Reviews Online
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I started reading reviews for hitmen online. It's crazy; people leave Yelp reviews for everything nowadays. Five stars for punctuality, but deducted one because he forgot to bring his own weapon. Would hire again!
Hitman on Social Media
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I heard that hitmen are getting with the times and using social media to find clients. Can you imagine a hitman posting on Instagram? Just took care of business in style – #AssassinationChic #TargetEliminated.
Hitman Job Perks
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I wonder if hitmen have any job perks. Like, do they get a bonus for every successful hit? Congratulations, you've reached your tenth target. Here's a gift card for a spa day – because even assassins need a day off.
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