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You ever notice how the word "Bastille" just sounds fancy? It's like the French decided to name their fortress with a touch of elegance. I mean, come on, it's not just a prison; it's a Bastille. They probably served croissants to the prisoners, and the guards wore berets. And what's with that storming of the Bastille thing? I can barely storm out of my bedroom when my alarm goes off. These guys were like, "We need liberty, equality, and baguettes for all!" It's the only prison break in history where the escapees demanded a side of escargot on their way out.
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You know, the Bastille was like the VIP section of prisons. Only the elite got to be imprisoned there. It's like, "Oh, you're a common criminal? Sorry, we're fully booked. But if you're an aristocrat, we've got a deluxe cell with a view of the Eiffel Tower just for you." And imagine the conversations inside the Bastille. "What are you in for?" "Tax evasion, darling. You?" "Oh, I insulted a mime in public." And the guards probably spoke in sophisticated accents, like, "Monsieur, your croissant is ready. And by the way, your execution is scheduled for noon.
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So, the French celebrate Bastille Day, right? It's like their Independence Day, but with more cheese and less fireworks. They probably have a parade where everyone marches in perfect formation until they get distracted by a bakery selling fresh baguettes. I can imagine the French president giving a speech: "Today, we celebrate liberty, equality, and the right to wear berets without judgment. Viva la France!" And then they all break into a synchronized can-can dance because, well, it's France, and why not turn a political revolution into a dance party?
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So, the Bastille was basically the original escape room. But here's the twist – instead of solving puzzles to get out, you just had to convince the guards that you were French royalty in disguise. "Oh, oui oui, I'm the secret cousin of Marie Antoinette. Please release me, I need to attend a macaron baking class." And you know they had those tricky hidden passages in the Bastille, like secret trapdoors and underground tunnels. Forget Alcatraz; the Bastille was the OG Shawshank Redemption. Inmates were probably passing baguettes through the walls, signaling each other like, "Hey, Pierre, I got the chisel. Let's break out and grab some wine.
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