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Why did the chicken attend the banquet? It heard it was going to be eggstraordinary!
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Why did the salad go to the banquet? It wanted to lettuce have a good time!
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I told a joke about bread at the banquet. It was a crumby joke, but everyone loafed it!
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I brought a belt to the banquet. Why? Because I heard the soup was a little brothel!
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Why did the chef bring a pencil to the banquet? In case they needed to draw some compliments!
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I tried to make a banquet joke, but it was too cheesy. I guess I'm just grate at !
At banquets, they serve salad like it's a rare delicacy. I didn't know I needed a passport to enter the lettuce kingdom.
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I felt like I was being initiated into some secret society where the password is vinaigrette. I almost expected the salad to come with a certificate of authenticity, assuring me that these leaves were handpicked by a gourmet rabbit.
Banquets are the only place where people get excited about chicken breast. I mean, who knew a poultry cut could be a cause for celebration?
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I thought chicken was supposed to be the boring, reliable option. But at banquets, it's like they're unveiling the crown jewels when that plate of chicken arrives. People start elbowing each other like they just witnessed a magic trick.
I tried to spice up a banquet once by starting a conga line. Let's just say they were more interested in forming a 'get away from the crazy guy' line.
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I thought I was injecting some fun into the evening, but apparently, banquets have a strict no-dancing policy. The only line I managed to start was the one for the exit.
Banquets are like a real-life game of musical chairs, except instead of chairs, it's your enthusiasm slowly disappearing with each passing course.
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I swear, by the time dessert comes around, people are eyeing the exit like it's the last lifeboat on the Titanic. If I had a dollar for every person who faked an emergency to leave early, I'd be able to afford my own private banquet on a deserted island.
Banquets are where the concept of 'open bar' meets its arch-nemesis: the two-drink limit.
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I felt like I was in a race against time to chug my drinks before the bartender turned into a pumpkin or worse, started charging me for the air I was breathing.
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I went to a banquet that had more speeches than an awards show. By the end, I felt like I had earned an honorary degree in boredom.
Banquets, or as I like to call them, group therapy for people with commitment issues.
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You ever been to one of those banquets? They're like weddings without the excitement. You sit there, surrounded by people you barely know, trying to make small talk while secretly hoping the food is decent. It's like a social experiment to see how long you can smile before your face cramps up.
Banquets are where 'dress to impress' meets 'I hope I don't spill gravy on this rented tuxedo.'
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You're walking around like you're on a red carpet, but in reality, you're tiptoeing around the buffet like it's a minefield. The only thing you're impressing is the dry cleaner with your stained garments.
Banquets are the only place where the DJ thinks 'YMCA' is a timeless classic. I didn't know I entered a time warp where disco never died.
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I asked the DJ if he had anything more current, and he looked at me like I asked for the latest hit from Mozart. I'm pretty sure I saw someone at the next table doing the Macarena.
I went to a banquet recently, and the only thing more overcooked than the steak was the awkward silence at my table.
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I asked the waiter if the chef was trying to recreate the last supper with that steak. Seriously, I needed a chainsaw to cut through it. And the silence? It was so thick you could cut it with the imaginary knife I wish I had to tackle that steak.
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