5 Jokes For Assume

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Aug 02 2024

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The Coffee Addict

Balancing caffeine intake and staying human
Decaf coffee is like a non-alcoholic beer. It's a beverage pretending to be something it's not. It's like, "Look, I have a mug and everything, but I'm just here for the placebo effect.

The Tech Luddite

Living in a digital world without becoming a robot
The other day, I asked my virtual assistant if it believes in love. It replied, "I'm sorry, I don't understand the question." I thought, "Well, neither do I, but at least I admit it.

The Gym Newbie

Navigating the gym without looking like a lost penguin
At the gym, I saw a guy lifting weights twice his size. I asked him, "Do you think that's wise?" He said, "Wise? No. But if I can carry all the groceries in one trip, it's worth it.

The Plant Parent

Trying to keep plants alive despite having a black thumb
I bought a fern because it's a low-maintenance plant. Turns out, low-maintenance means it's low-maintenance for the plant, not for me. I think it's plotting my demise.

The Dating App Enthusiast

Navigating the world of online dating and decoding profiles
I asked someone on a dating app what their favorite pickup line was. They said, "Are you a WiFi signal? Because I'm feeling a connection." I thought, "Great, now I'm getting hit on by the IT guy.

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