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Why did the scarecrow feel assaulted? Because it was outstanding in its field!
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Why did the banana feel assaulted? Because it got peeled under pressure!
The Unfortunate Assault
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You ever hear about that guy who tried to steal my sandwich? Yeah, he was quickly assaulted... by the wrath of my empty stomach!
Fitness Follies
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Joined a gym, and the treadmill assaulted my dignity. I thought I was running a 5K, but it felt more like I was in a comedy skit!
Musical Mishaps
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Went to a concert and felt assaulted by the bass. Now my heart's rhythm is a mix between jazz and dubstep.
Alarm Clock Wars
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My alarm clock and I had a bit of an assault situation this morning. I snoozed it so hard, it probably thinks I'm its best friend now.
Misunderstood Intentions
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Tried to make my coffee today, but instead, I assaulted the sugar jar. Now my coffee thinks it's a sweet latte.
The Feline Conundrum
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Bought a new cat toy. Guess what it did? Assaulted my self-esteem because it preferred the cardboard box it came in.
Attack of the Sneakers
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My shoes assaulted me today. Every step felt like I was walking on bubble wrap, but really, it was just my squeaky sole taking revenge.
The Mailman's Revenge
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My mailbox assaulted me today. Opened it expecting bills, but instead, got a ton of junk mail. Talk about a paper cut to the heart.
The Bitter Beverage
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Ordered a fancy tea today, but it assaulted my taste buds. Turns out, it was just hot leaf water trying to be relevant.
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