5 Jokes For Assaulted

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jul 09 2024

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Office Coffee Enthusiast

When your love for a good cup of coffee is assaulted by the office's instant coffee machine.
Coffee Snobbery: I overheard someone saying they like instant coffee. I had to resist the urge to call 911. I mean, who hurt you to make you like that?

Paranoid Pet Owner

When your pet's innocence is assaulted by the neighbor's scary-looking poodle.
Fish Conspiracy: I think my fish are plotting something. Every time I walk by the tank, they swim away like they're hiding something. Probably planning a tank break, who knows?

Tech-Obsessed Teen

When your digital life is assaulted by constant notifications and low battery warnings.
Social Media Battles: My Instagram got hacked. The hacker posted a selfie. Even my social media life got assaulted, and it turns out the hacker takes better selfies than I do.

Fitness Fanatic

When your commitment to a healthy lifestyle is assaulted by the temptation of a double-chocolate fudge cake.
Cheat Day Chaos: Cheat days are supposed to be controlled chaos. Mine turned into a cheat week, and now my abs are playing hide and seek.

Overly Protective Parent

When your child's innocence gets assaulted by the realities of the world.
Tooth Fairy 2.0: My kid lost a tooth, and I went old school, putting a dollar under the pillow. They were like, "Mom, inflation exists!" Now, the Tooth Fairy does direct deposits.

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