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Have you ever tried to assemble a piece of IKEA furniture? It's like being verbally assaulted by a set of instructions that were written in another dimension. "Step 1: Find the Zlorg. Step 2: Connect the Flarb. Step 3: Pray to the Swedish gods it stands upright!
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Speaking of haunted places, you ever feel like your inbox is being assaulted by those relentless promotional emails? Every morning, it's like my emails have been possessed by a demon screaming, "Buy this! Buy that! You need 50% off on socks you'll never wear!
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You know what's a real assault on the senses? Opening your fridge and getting hit by that one leftover container. It's like a jump scare in a horror movie. "Oh, what's this? A science experiment from three months ago?
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You ever feel like your Wi-Fi router is under constant assault by invisible gremlins? One minute you're streaming your favorite show, and the next, it's like the gremlins are holding a buffering party, laughing at your despair.
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Ever notice how your car feels assaulted when you hit a pothole? It's like you can hear it saying, "Oh, so we're off-roading now? I was designed for smooth city streets, not a scene from Mad Max!
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You know what's an unexpected assault? Trying to fold a fitted sheet. It's like wrestling an octopus in a tiny wrestling ring. By the end, you're both out of breath, and the sheet looks like it's been through a war zone.
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Ever notice how your to-do list feels assaulted every time you add another task? It's like watching a snowball roll downhill, gaining speed and momentum, while you stand at the bottom wondering, "How did it get this big, and why is it aiming straight for me?
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You ever notice how your favorite pair of headphones feels assaulted every time you untangle them? It's like they've just been through a haunted maze, and they're screaming, "Why do you do this to me every time?!
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How about the assault on our taste buds when someone decides to make "healthy" desserts? "It's a gluten-free, sugar-free, joy-free cake!" Oh, great, it tastes like cardboard with a side of disappointment.
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