7+ Best One Liners Jokes About alcoholics

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I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and a glass.

I asked the bartender for a joke. He gave me my tab.

I have mixed drinks about my feelings. They're usually stirred, not shaken.

I don't have a drinking problem. Unless you count getting out of bed in the morning without spilling my coffee.

I told my friend I could quit drinking anytime I wanted. He bet me a bottle of whiskey that I couldn't. I haven't seen him since!

I only drink on two occasions: when it's my birthday and when it's not.

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

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