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At 40, I've become an expert at pretending to stretch when I'm really just trying to avoid bending over to tie my shoelaces. It's not laziness; it's strategic energy conservation.
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At 40, the only six-pack I have is the one I find at the bottom of my grocery bag. It's not exactly what I had in mind when someone said I'd have a killer bod in my forties.
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You know you're 40 when "all-nighter" means staying up past 10 PM. Forget partying; my idea of a wild night is watching a crime drama without subtitles.
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Turning 40 is like being the referee in a game of hide and seek. You're counting to 40, and everyone else is just pretending they didn't hear you and quietly finding a comfortable spot to nap.
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Turning 40 is like reaching the level in a video game where the challenges get real. Suddenly, your body has this pop-up notification saying, "Congratulations, you've unlocked the 'Random Aches and Pains' expansion pack!
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You ever notice how turning 40 is like trying to merge onto the highway of life? You're signaling your intentions, checking your blind spots, but somehow life keeps honking at you like, "C'mon, pick up the pace, grandpa!
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Getting older is like upgrading your phone – it happens gradually, and suddenly you're excited about things like better sleep and a well-functioning digestive system. I'm basically the iPhone 11 of humans.
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They say life begins at 40, but it feels more like life just handed me the instruction manual and said, "Good luck, figure it out!" I didn't even get a warranty.
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You ever notice how at 40, your social life resembles a game of Jenga? You carefully plan your outings, remove a piece (friend) here and there, and hope the whole tower doesn't collapse into a night of solitude.
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