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Joke Types
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Why did the comedian take the pledge? He wanted to work on his timing and avoid 'stand-up' situations!
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Why did the smartphone take the pledge? It wanted to break up with its bad battery habits!
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Why did the book take the pledge? It wanted to close the chapter on bad habits!
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Why did the tree refuse to take the pledge? It said, 'I'm rooted in my principles!
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Why did the pencil take the pledge? It wanted to draw a line in the sand!
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Why did the tomato take the pledge? It wanted to ketchup on being a better vegetable!
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Why did the scarecrow refuse to take the pledge? It was afraid it might lose its straw-man image!
Marriage Pledge
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My friend asked me to be his best man, and I said, Sure, but do I have to take that marriage pledge seriously? You know, the one where you promise to love and cherish someone until death do you part. I can't even commit to finishing a sandwich, and now you want me to commit to a lifelong partnership?
Pledging to Adulting
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I recently realized I'm supposed to be an adult. They never told me this would involve bills and responsibility. I tried to make a pledge to adulting, but my inner child was like, Nah, let's watch cartoons and eat cereal for dinner!
Pledging to Remember
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My memory is so bad; I tried to pledge to remember things. I forgot what I was supposed to remember before I even finished the pledge. It's like my brain has a delete button for anything that isn't pizza-related.
Coffee Pledge
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I'm addicted to coffee. I tried to take a pledge to limit my caffeine intake. The barista laughed so hard, I think I just signed up for their loyalty program. Now my blood type is espresso.
Traffic Pledge
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I hate traffic. It's like a never-ending game of 'stop and go.' I thought about taking a traffic pledge: I promise not to honk at slow drivers unless they're slower than a snail on sedatives. Spoiler alert: I've already broken that pledge.
Pledging to Diet
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They say you are what you eat. I took a pledge to eat healthier. Now I'm just a kale chip away from turning into a human salad. If only they had warned me that salad dressing doesn't count as a beverage.
Tech Pledge
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I got a new smartphone, and they had this user agreement that was longer than a Shakespearean play. I was like, I just want to play Candy Crush and take awkward selfies. Do I really need to pledge my firstborn to you, Siri?
The Pledge
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You know, I recently tried to join a cult. I thought, Why not? Seems like a good time! But they had this thing called the pledge. I was like, Hold on a second, I can't even commit to a cell phone contract, and now you want me to pledge my soul?!
Pledging at the Gym
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I decided to hit the gym, and they had this personal trainer who made me take a fitness pledge. I was like, Look, I just came here to avoid stairs and eat more donuts. Now you want me to pledge to a life of kale and burpees?!
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