bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Doctors love their medical jargon. They throw around words like "prognosis," "diagnosis," and "electroencephalogram" like they're reciting the alphabet. I once asked a doctor to explain my condition in plain English, and he said, "You have a slight imbalance in your homeostatic equilibrium." I nodded like I understood and Googled it later. And have you ever tried reading your own medical chart? It's like trying to decipher an ancient manuscript. "Patient exhibits symptoms of avian influenza coupled with a predisposition for cephalopod-induced anxiety." I'm pretty sure they're just messing with us at this point. I mean, I came in with a cough; I didn't realize I was patient zero for the next pandemic!
0
0
You know, I've spent some time in hospitals, and let me tell you, it's a strange world in there. They call them "patients," but I swear, it's more like a waiting room for accidental acrobats. People trying to master the art of the hospital gown, which, by the way, is the fashion equivalent of a magic trick gone wrong. You put it on, and suddenly you're exposed from places you didn't even know you had! And don't get me started on the food they serve. I once asked the nurse if it was possible to get a pizza delivered. She said, "No, sorry, we only have hospital food." I said, "Well, that explains the mystery meat that's been masquerading as chicken for the past three days." I think they're secretly training us for survival in case we ever end up on a deserted island with nothing but canned mystery meat.
0
0
Ever notice the bedside manner of some doctors? It's like they took a crash course in delivering bad news with a straight face. "You have a rare condition that affects one in a million." And then they act like they're telling you the weather forecast. "There's a 30% chance of rain, and, oh yeah, your left kidney is doing its own thing now." And nurses, bless their hearts. They come in every few hours to check your vitals, but it feels like they're auditioning for a part in a Broadway musical. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the heart rate cha-cha!" I'm just lying there thinking, "Can we skip the dance routine and just get me some painkillers, please?
0
0
You ever notice how time works differently in hospitals? It's like they have their own time zone where one minute feels like an hour, and an hour feels like a week. You're sitting there in the waiting room, and the clock on the wall seems to be mocking you. "Tick, tock, your appointment was at 2, but we'll see you at 3:30." And the magazines they have in the waiting room? I think some of them have been there since the hospital opened. I picked up a magazine, and the headline read, "New Breakthroughs in Polio Vaccine!" I'm thinking, "I appreciate the history lesson, but can we get some WiFi in here?
Post a Comment