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Hospitals need to hire GPS for their hallways. I took a wrong turn and ended up in the maternity ward. Suddenly, I'm congratulating strangers on their new arrivals. Awkward high-fives all around.
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Ever notice how hospital gowns are designed by the same people who create puzzles for toddlers? You try to put it on, and suddenly you're stuck in a fabric labyrinth, questioning every life choice.
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You know you've spent too much time in hospitals when you start rating the quality of the food like it's a Michelin-star restaurant. "The mashed potatoes had a delicate hospital blend, with hints of sadness and regret.
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Ever notice how hospital beds have that magical ability to transform into the most uncomfortable chair when visitors come by? It's like they're saying, "Welcome to our hospitality suite, where comfort goes on vacation.
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You know you're in a hospital when the elevators have that distinct "I've seen things" look. I pressed the button, and it sighed louder than my grandmother watching a soap opera.
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Hospitals have this unique scent, a mix of antiseptic and anxiety. I swear, they should sell it as a candle called "Eau de Emergency Room." It's the aroma of waiting for bad news.
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Hospitals are the only place where the phrase "I'm just here for a check-up" sounds more like a threat than reassurance. "Oh, just a check-up? That's what they all say before the drama unfolds.
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The waiting room in a hospital is like a microcosm of society. Strangers awkwardly avoiding eye contact, judging each other's magazine choices, and collectively wondering if that guy coughing is patient zero.
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Hospitals have the most optimistic lighting. Fluorescent bulbs that scream, "You may be sick, but we believe you can get better in this sterile, slightly soul-sucking environment.
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