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Joke Types
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I tried baking a mask out of bread. The recipe said to use a 'roll' model!
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Why did the tomato turn red during the pandemic? It saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the broom get a promotion during quarantine? It swept the competition away!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award during the pandemic? He was outstanding in his field – and six feet apart from everyone!
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I tried making a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time – just like the pandemic!
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Why did the bread break up with the butter during quarantine? It needed some space to rise!
Socially Distanced Dating
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Dating during a pandemic is like playing chess, but instead of moving pieces, you're strategically planning dates six feet apart. It's all fun and games until your romantic dinner turns into a shouting match because you can't hear each other over the traffic.
Quarantine Fashion
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Fashion during a pandemic is all about the business on top, party on the bottom look. I've had Zoom meetings where I'm wearing a suit jacket with basketball shorts. It's like I'm ready to seal the deal but also ready for a pickup game.
Vaccine Victory
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Got my vaccine shot the other day. I felt like I won the lottery, but instead of cash, the prize was immunity. I'm waiting for them to announce the vaccine lottery numbers on TV: And tonight's lucky winner is...you, in the Pfizer section!
The Pandemic Paradox
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You know, during the pandemic, I discovered I have two moods: Master Chef and Can't Even Boil Water. It's like I have Gordon Ramsay on one shoulder yelling at me and a microwave on the other saying, You got this, buddy!
Home Office Havoc
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Working from home has turned my house into a 24/7 office. I don't know where my work ends and my personal life begins anymore. I asked my cat for a coffee break the other day, and he just gave me that judgmental look like, You're not paying me enough for this.
The Great Toilet Paper Crisis
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Remember the great toilet paper shortage? I felt like a contestant on a survival show. I'd walk into a store, spot a pack of toilet paper, and hear the host say, Congratulations, you've found the golden ticket! It was like the Willy Wonka of bathroom supplies.
The Pandemic Playlist
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I've created a special playlist for the pandemic – it's just All By Myself by Eric Carmen on repeat. I'm thinking of submitting it to Spotify under the genre Quarantine Ballads. The royalties might be enough to buy me a year's supply of hand sanitizer.
Zoom Zingers
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I've attended so many virtual meetings; I accidentally wore a suit to bed the other day. I woke up, saw myself in the mirror, and thought, Well, I guess it's a formal breakfast meeting with my cereal.
Quarantine Chronicles
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I've been in quarantine so long; I've started naming my furniture. My couch is Carl, the coffee table is Tina, and my bed is Sir Snores-a-Lot. It's like I'm living in a sitcom where the characters never leave the house.
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