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I've become an expert at reading eyes. Not because I'm deep into philosophy or anything, but thanks to masks. You've got to decipher the squint for a smile and the widening for a surprised "Oh, you actually left your house!" Look, I'm practically a pandemic detective.
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You know you've been home too long when your pet starts giving you that judgmental look like, "Are you still here? Don't you have a Zoom call or something?
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I've developed a new skill during the pandemic - the art of stealth-snacking. I can open a bag of chips so quietly; even ninjas would be impressed. It's my secret talent.
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You know you're deep into the pandemic when your favorite outfit becomes the one with the least amount of wrinkles from sitting on the couch all day. I'm practically a fashion icon in "Pajama Chic" now.
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I used to jog to get some fresh air. Now I just open the window and do that fake jogging motion. Same endorphins, none of the sweat. Win-win.
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I miss the days when I used to press "ignore" on a call because I was busy. Now, I press "ignore" because I'm too busy debating whether pants are necessary for a video call.
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I've discovered a new form of time travel during the pandemic - binge-watching. Hours disappear like socks in a washing machine, and suddenly, I'm in a different dimension known as Season 5.
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I've reached a point where my car sits in the driveway and gives me a judging stare. It's like, "Remember me? We used to go places." Now it's just a glorified storage unit.
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During the pandemic, I've realized I have two moods: "Let's try that new recipe" and "Let's see if the delivery guy recognizes me again." I'm a culinary daredevil in my own way.
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