10 Pandemic Jokes

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Aug 16 2025

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I've become an expert at reading eyes. Not because I'm deep into philosophy or anything, but thanks to masks. You've got to decipher the squint for a smile and the widening for a surprised "Oh, you actually left your house!" Look, I'm practically a pandemic detective.
You know you've been home too long when your pet starts giving you that judgmental look like, "Are you still here? Don't you have a Zoom call or something?
I've developed a new skill during the pandemic - the art of stealth-snacking. I can open a bag of chips so quietly; even ninjas would be impressed. It's my secret talent.
You know you're deep into the pandemic when your favorite outfit becomes the one with the least amount of wrinkles from sitting on the couch all day. I'm practically a fashion icon in "Pajama Chic" now.
I used to jog to get some fresh air. Now I just open the window and do that fake jogging motion. Same endorphins, none of the sweat. Win-win.
I miss the days when I used to press "ignore" on a call because I was busy. Now, I press "ignore" because I'm too busy debating whether pants are necessary for a video call.
I've discovered a new form of time travel during the pandemic - binge-watching. Hours disappear like socks in a washing machine, and suddenly, I'm in a different dimension known as Season 5.
I've reached a point where my car sits in the driveway and gives me a judging stare. It's like, "Remember me? We used to go places." Now it's just a glorified storage unit.
During the pandemic, I've realized I have two moods: "Let's try that new recipe" and "Let's see if the delivery guy recognizes me again." I'm a culinary daredevil in my own way.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I've been absent from the gym for so long, my treadmill is starting to send me passive-aggressive texts.

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Aug 16 2025

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