4 Jokes For One Legged

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 12 2024

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You know what really grinds my gears? The stares! I mean, I get it; it's not every day you see someone with one leg, but come on! I've considered getting a shirt printed that says, "Yes, I have one leg. Yes, I'm still faster than you." But then I thought, why bother? I'll just use that energy for something more productive. Like practicing my one-legged dance moves. Trust me, you haven’t lived until you've seen a one-legged man attempt the moonwalk!
You wouldn’t believe the struggle I face when shoe shopping. I walk into a store, and they're all like, "Can we assist you, sir?" And I'm like, "Sure, I need a singular shoe." They give me that puzzled look, and I'm like, "Yeah, just one shoe. Thanks to modern fashion, I only need half the pair!" And then there's always that one salesperson who tries to upsell, "Would you like a matching pair of socks with that?" Nah, I think I'm good!
There are perks to having one leg, don't get me wrong. For instance, I never have to worry about getting my pants dirty at the bottom. Saves me on laundry! But there are pitfalls too. Like trying to play hopscotch, it's like I'm always cheating. And forget about trying to win a three-legged race; it's just not fair to the other participants. They'd be dragging along a limp noodle while I'm racing towards victory.
You know, people always ask me, "What's it like having just one leg?" And I'm like, "Well, it's a balancing act... quite literally!" I've mastered the art of hopping to places faster than most people can walk. You see, I've turned my disability into an advantage. Like when people talk about taking the stairs versus the elevator, I've got a third option: leap!

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