5 Jokes For Muttering

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jul 05 2025

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Public Transportation

Navigating the chaos of public transportation and trying not to lose your sanity.
Public transportation is like a surprise party every day. You never know who's going to jump out of the shadows, muttering about life's mysteries while clutching a bag full of pigeons.

Dating Apps

Navigating the world of dating apps and decoding the mysterious language of profiles.
Dating app bios are like riddles. 'I love to travel' means they once took a bus to the neighboring city. And 'I enjoy deep conversations' means they mutter to themselves about the meaning of life.

Gym Workouts

The internal battle between the desire for a fit body and the love for comfort and snacks.
I tried to impress someone at the gym by muttering motivational quotes. Turns out, saying 'Sweating is just your fat crying' doesn't make the elliptical any less soul-crushing.

Office Meetings

The struggle to stay awake during endless office meetings.
I tried muttering motivational quotes to myself during the meeting to stay awake. Turns out, 'You miss 100% of the naps you don't take' doesn't inspire productivity.

Grocery Shopping

The struggle of trying to stick to a shopping list and not getting distracted by the wonders of the snack aisle.
Grocery shopping on an empty stomach is a dangerous game. I started muttering to the cookies, 'I don't need you.' Spoiler alert: I needed them.

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