bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know you've made it when you can afford a personal chef, right? Well, MC Hammer took it a step further. Rumor has it he has a personal chef just to make scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs! I can barely make toast without burning it, and this guy's got a culinary artist whipping up the perfect eggs for him. I bet his chef is like, "Today, I've prepared a delicate dish of scrambled eggs, seasoned with the tears of lesser chefs who can't get the perfect fluffiness." Meanwhile, my idea of gourmet scrambled eggs is not burning them and adding a sprinkle of cheese.
But hey, if you've got the money, why not? I can imagine MC Hammer sitting at the breakfast table, doing the Hammer dance while enjoying his perfectly crafted eggs. Meanwhile, I'm over here doing the "I hope this toast isn't too burnt" dance. Can't touch this level of breakfast luxury.
0
0
MC Hammer's fashion sense was like a time capsule from the '90s. Those pants were so baggy; you could hide a family of raccoons in there, and no one would be the wiser. I mean, if you wore Hammer pants today, people would think you're auditioning for a circus act. And the funny thing is, it's not just the pants. MC Hammer had those giant gold chains that were so heavy; I bet his neck had biceps. If he ever got into a fight, he wouldn't need brass knuckles; he'd just swing his head around.
I imagine if MC Hammer walked into a modern-day clothing store, the salesperson would look at him and say, "Sir, I think you're in the wrong decade." But hey, fashion is cyclical, right? I'm just waiting for the day when Hammer pants make a comeback. I'll be first in line at the store, ready to break out the dance moves.
0
0
You remember MC Hammer, right? The guy who wore parachute pants so big, he could probably use them as a personal airbag. I mean, if MC Hammer jumped off a building, he'd probably float gently to the ground like a feather. But let's talk about "Can't Touch This." That song was so iconic; even now, if you hear those first few beats, you can't help but do the Hammer dance. It's like a reflex. You could be in a job interview, and if "Can't Touch This" starts playing, you're suddenly breakdancing on the conference table.
And Hammer's lyrics were on point, too. "Can't touch this" - classic. I wish I could use that line in everyday life. Like, someone asks for my WiFi password, and I just go, "Sorry, can't touch this." Or when the person at the salad bar tries to give me romaine lettuce instead of arugula, I'd be like, "Nope, can't touch this.
0
0
So, whatever happened to MC Hammer? Last I heard, he became some sort of tech entrepreneur. Yeah, he went from "Can't Touch This" to "Can't Touch My Stock Portfolio." I guess those parachute pants had hidden pockets full of investment tips. I like to imagine MC Hammer in business meetings, trying to convince investors with the Hammer dance. "And if you invest now, you get a free dance lesson. Can't touch this return on investment!" It's like he turned his financial strategy into a dance move.
But hey, good for him. He's diversified. From rap superstar to tech mogul - that's a career pivot right there. Most of us can't even pivot from standing to sitting without making weird noises.
Post a Comment