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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild weekend is not hitting the clubs or going on a spontaneous road trip. No, it's about embarking on an epic journey to Middle-earth – that's right, the "Lord of the Rings" marathon. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Frodo and the gang, but after the third movie, I start to feel like I've been through my own Mount Doom. I mean, I've aged, I've shed tears, and my precious... weekend has vanished!
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Ever feel like you're working with a bunch of Orcs? I mean, I've been in meetings where the only thing missing is Sauron's eye glaring at me from the conference room projector. And let's talk about office politics – it's like the Battle of Minas Tirith, but with fewer swords and more passive-aggressive emails. I half expect HR to show up in full armor, wielding a policy handbook like a shield.
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Can we talk about Gollum for a moment? The guy who lost the One Ring but somehow became everyone's favorite GPS. Imagine if Gollum gave directions: "Turn right, precious, and then, yesss, take the second left. No, not the first left, the second one, my love." I bet even Google Maps would be like, "We're recalculating, but seriously, who invited this guy?
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You know you're in trouble when you can't even get a date on Elvish Tinder. Elves are swiping left like they're defending Helm's Deep – arrows of rejection flying your way. And don't even get me started on their bios: "Fluent in Sindarin and Quenya, skilled archer, 3,000 years young." I can't compete with that! I'm just here trying to master the art of small talk, and they've got centuries of wisdom to drop.
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