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What did the blanket say to the bed? 'I love you but let's not get too 'wrapped' up in this - just a cuddle, no kisses!
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Why was the ocean so friendly? Because it kept waving and asking for 'kisses' from the shore!
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What did the candle say to the flame? 'Let's stick together and never 'wax' cold - come closer and kiss!
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What do you call a kiss in the middle of a snowstorm? A flurry of emotions!
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Why did the computer kiss the keyboard? Because it couldn't resist its keystrokes!
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Why was the math book shy about giving kisses? Because it had too many problems!
Kiss Me, the GPS Alternative
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I tried using kiss me as my GPS command. Let me tell you, it doesn't work. Instead of directions, Siri just responded, This is a family-friendly device. Well, excuse me, Siri, for trying to navigate the road of love.
Kiss Me, the Universal Password
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You ever notice how kiss me sounds like the universal password for life? Like, you're stuck in traffic, and you just roll down your window, look at the driver next to you, and go, Kiss me! Suddenly, everything's cool, and you're on your way. If only it worked at the DMV, too.
Kiss Me, the Failed Magic Spell
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I tried using kiss me as a magic spell to make my laundry fold itself. Spoiler alert: it didn't work. Now, I'm just stuck with wrinkled clothes and a reputation as the weird guy in the laundromat.
Kiss Me, the Misheard Request
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I asked my dog to fetch my keys, but he thought I said, Kiss me. Now, I'm locked out of my house, and the neighbor's dog won't stop laughing.
Kiss Me, the Instant Confidence Booster
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I tried using kiss me as my mantra to boost confidence. It worked, but not exactly as I expected. Now, I'm confidently single because apparently, randomly saying kiss me doesn't make you more attractive. Who knew?
Kiss Me, the Secret Handshake Replacement
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Handshakes are so last season. Now, I propose we replace them with a universal kiss me. Can you imagine business meetings? Nice to meet you, sir. Kiss me, and let's close that deal.
Kiss Me, the Social Distancing Exception
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During these times of social distancing, kiss me is like the exception to the rule. You know, six feet apart, masks on, but if someone says, kiss me, suddenly, it's okay to break the barrier. CDC guidelines didn't cover this loophole.
Kiss Me, the Forbidden Grocery List Item
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I put kiss me on my grocery list as a joke. Now, I'm banned from three supermarkets. Apparently, public displays of affection are not welcome in the produce section. Who knew vegetables were so judgmental?
Kiss Me, the Elevator Small Talk
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They say small talk in elevators is awkward. So, now, whenever I step into an elevator, I just turn to the person next to me and go, Kiss me. It's awkward, but hey, at least it breaks the ice.
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