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Joke Types
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What's a skeleton's least favorite room in the house? The living room. Skeletons prefer to hold onto their privacy!
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels. They understand how to hold onto their identity!
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Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired! It just couldn't hold up under the pressure.
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Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Atoms really know how to hold a secret.
Hold the Door
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I've never related more to Game of Thrones than when someone's right behind me, and I'm holding the door for them. Suddenly, I'm Hodor! But let's be honest, I'm less a noble protector and more a person trying not to look rude while I trap myself in this awkward holding position.
Hold Your Tongue
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You know, they say, Hold your tongue. But let's be real, that's impossible, especially for someone like me who talks for a living! If I held my tongue, I'd be out of a job and probably end up accidentally licking a popsicle or something. So, sorry, but the tongue's got to stay untamed.
Hold Your Applause
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I appreciate the enthusiasm, I really do. But there's always that one person who hears a joke and starts clapping so vigorously that you'd think they've won a round of applause bingo. Hold your applause, folks; I've got ten more jokes and limited time! Save your energy, we've got a laughter marathon ahead!
Hold the Line
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Calling customer service is like a game of musical chairs, but instead of music, you get stuck on hold with the same five-second loop of elevator music. And when you finally hear, Thank you for your patience, you know you've won! Not the solution to your problem, just the waiting game.
Hold Your Horses
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I was at the supermarket the other day, and this guy cuts in front of me at the checkout line. I told him, Hold your horses, pal! He turned around and said, Oh, are we buying horses now? I didn't see them on the special offer! Yeah, turns out he didn't have a checkout problem; he had a humor deficiency!
Hold My Drink
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You know you're in for a wild night when someone says, Hold my drink, because that's when the stories start. Hold my drink while I jump off this table, Hold my drink while I show off my karaoke skills, and my personal favorite, Hold my drink while I try to flirt—I mean, fail spectacularly.
Hold the Laughter
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You know, I tried joining a meditation class once, but every time I sat down to hold my thoughts, they took a look at my comedy routine and said, Could you, like, hold the laughter? I knew then that inner peace was just not for me.
Hold the Phone
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You ever get those automated calls that go, Your call is important to us, please hold? I always wonder, who's actually holding the phone for these companies? Are they creating jobs for phone-holding specialists now? Sign me up! I'd be the most patient person on the planet.
Hold Tight
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They say patience is a virtue, right? Well, I have a whole lot of virtue, especially when I'm in a crowded subway, holding onto the pole for dear life. That's when you develop superhero-level balancing skills. Call me the Subway Surfer—I've mastered the art of holding tight!
Hold the Fort
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I'm terrible with surprises. My friend said, Hold the fort; I'll be right back! I'm standing there, holding an imaginary fort, expecting an ambush or maybe a pirate invasion. Turns out, all I needed to do was feed the cat. I swear, my imagination runs wilder than reality sometimes!
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