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Why did the greeting card go to therapy? It had too many emotional 'folds' to work through!
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Why did the greeting card apply for a job? It wanted to get hired for its 'card-tistic' abilities!
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Why did the greeting card visit the doctor? It had a case of 'envelope'-itis!
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Why did the Christmas card go to therapy? It had too many 'present' issues!
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Why did the birthday card throw a party? It wanted to 'celebrate' its success in bringing joy!
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I bought a sympathy card for my diet. It said, 'Sorry for your loss... of those extra pounds!
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Why did the get-well card get a promotion? It knew how to 'heal' the workplace!
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Greeting cards are the MVPs of apology tours. Who needs sincerity when you've got a 'Sorry' card from the grocery store?
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You know, greeting cards should come with expiration dates. 'Congratulations on your new job...from five years ago!'
Greeting cards are like tiny, passive-aggressive messengers. 'Happy Birthday, here's a reminder you're getting old!'
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You ever get a greeting card and think, Wow, this card knows me better than my therapist! It's like they know exactly what to say to push all your buttons.
Greeting cards are the undercover therapists of our generation. They'll solve all your emotional problems for just $3.99!
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I saw a greeting card that said, 'Thinking of you during this difficult time.' Yeah, thinking, not actually doing anything, just thinking!
Greeting cards should have a disclaimer: 'May cause sudden bursts of emotion or severe eye-rolling, use cautiously.'
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I swear, greeting cards have mastered the art of emotional manipulation. 'I know I'm supposed to say this, so here it is in a pretty font!
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Greeting cards are the ultimate last-minute saviors. Nothing says 'I remembered your birthday just in time' like a CVS special!
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Greeting cards: the only place where 'Sorry for your loss' and 'Congrats on your wedding' sit on the same shelf. Talk about mixed signals!
Greeting cards are the Hallmark of passive aggression. 'Wishing you a wonderful day' translates to 'I hope you remember my birthday next time!'
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I love how greeting cards can sugarcoat anything. 'I'm sorry you're going through a tough time' is just a fancy way of saying, 'Wow, your life's a mess!
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You ever read a greeting card and wonder, 'Who actually writes these things?' Like, is there a committee of pun enthusiasts locked in a room somewhere?
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