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Ferengi wisdom: If life gives you lemons, open a lemonade stand and charge double during a heatwave. It's Rule #109 in the Ferengi Handbook of Business Ethics.
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Dating a Ferengi must be like being in a relationship with a walking profit-and-loss statement. "Honey, I love you, but I can't afford your emotional baggage. It's not good for my bottom line.
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I asked a Ferengi for financial advice, and he told me to diversify my investments. So, now I have half my money in gold-pressed latinum and the other half in beanie babies. Thanks, financial guru!
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I tried playing Monopoly with a Ferengi once. It was the longest game of Monopoly in history. Every trade negotiation felt like brokering a peace deal between warring factions. And don't even get me started on the hotels – more like profit-generating empires!
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Ferengi must be the only species in the galaxy that considers a bargain a competitive sport. It's like, "Welcome to the Ferengi Olympics, where the gold medal goes to whoever can talk you down on the price of a used tricorder.
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Ferengi economics: where the only thing more sacred than the Rules of Acquisition is the last slice of pizza. If they had a Rule #285, it would be "Never share your dessert, not even with your mother.
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I saw a Ferengi at the grocery store, meticulously comparing prices and reading the fine print on coupons. I thought, "Either he's the ultimate bargain hunter, or he's on a mission to find the most lucrative intergalactic BOGO deal.
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I tried explaining the concept of generosity to a Ferengi once. He looked at me like I was speaking Klingon. "You mean, give away profits for free? Are you out of your Vulcan mind?
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You ever notice how negotiating with a Ferengi feels like haggling with your grandma over allowance? "Come on, Grandma, I need a raise in my weekly stipend. I've got bills to pay... and starships to buy!
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