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The Standup Comedian's Mom
Disappointed in the low turnout for her child's show.
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The only thing more deserted than this comedy club is my son's room after I told him to clean it.
The Competitive Waiter
Jealous of the empty seats for not ordering anything.
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I've seen more action in a slow-motion ketchup bottle than at this comedy show. Even the condiments are more exciting than the audience.
The Ghost of Comedy Past
Wistful for the lively audiences of yesteryear.
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I miss the days when people filled seats faster than they filled out job applications after bombing on stage.
The Optimistic Seat Filler
Trying to stay positive despite the sparse audience.
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These empty seats are just taking a break – they'll be back when they've recharged their sitting energy.
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