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Have you ever wondered if embalmers have a secret competition to see who can make the deceased look the most lifelike? Like, "Oh, Brenda, you nailed the 'I'm just sleeping' look on Mr. Johnson this time!
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I wonder if embalmers have ever considered a side hustle as life coaches. "Today, we're going to learn how to look alive, both literally and metaphorically.
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I was reading about embalming, and apparently, they use a combination of formaldehyde and other chemicals. It's like they're turning bodies into the undead version of a science experiment. "Breaking: Zombies now endorse the latest embalming techniques!
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I bet embalmers have a secret society where they swap stories about the craziest things they've encountered. "Oh, you won't believe what happened at the funeral I worked last week. The deceased did the Macarena!
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You ever notice how embalming is like giving the deceased a makeover? "Rest in peace, darling, but make it fabulous!
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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild night involves discussing embalming fluids. "Hey, wanna come over for a drink and some lively conversation about preservation techniques?
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I bet there's a whole hidden market for zombie actors who've had embalming training. "Introducing the undead A-listers – guaranteed not to eat your brains during the shoot!
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I was at a funeral recently, and they had an open casket. The deceased looked so serene, like they were taking the world's most peaceful nap. I thought, "Either that embalmer is a genius or they just discovered the world's most effective anti-aging treatment.
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Embalming is like the ultimate skincare routine, but instead of looking younger, you just look... not decomposed. "New from the mortuary, the anti-aging solution that lasts forever!
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