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The Ambitious Embalmer
Trying to innovate in an ancient profession
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I thought about personalized caskets with Wi-Fi. My supervisor said, "People come here to mourn, not to stream Netflix." I said, "Well, if they can't binge-watch their favorite shows, at least they can binge-watch their life's memories scrolling on the casket screen.
The Rebellious Corpse
Not wanting to conform to the embalming process
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The embalmer said, "We'll make your loved one look peaceful." I said, "Well, he was a biker. Can you at least make him look peacefully rebellious? Maybe a leather jacket and a tattoo that says 'Born to Decompose.'
The Embalmer's Apprentice
Learning the ropes of the trade
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I asked my boss if we had any job perks, and he said, "Well, the dental plan is dead, but the health plan is eternal. Once you're embalmed, you're good for the afterlife!
The Ghost of the Embalmed
Struggling with ghostly transparency
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The worst part is that I can't have a normal conversation anymore. I was talking to this other ghost, and he goes, "I can't take you seriously; your words are floating in mid-air. Get some speech bubbles or something!
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