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You know you're getting old when you see drug addicts running down the street, and your first thought is, "Wow, they must be in great shape. I can barely run to catch the ice cream truck without getting winded.
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Drug addicts have a unique way of making you feel like a detective. You find a tiny plastic bag on the ground, and suddenly you're Sherlock Holmes deducing the neighborhood's illicit activities. Elementary, my dear Watson, it's just a lost snack baggie.
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Drug addicts must have the best relationship with their dealers. I can't even get my pizza delivered on time, and these folks have a guy who shows up at their doorstep within minutes. I need that kind of commitment in my life.
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I've realized drug addicts are the real experts at improvisation. Forget jazz musicians, these guys can turn any situation into a performance. They're the MacGyvers of making bad decisions sound like a well-thought-out life strategy.
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Have you ever accidentally locked eyes with a drug addict on the street? It's like playing a game of social chicken. You're thinking, "Can I look away first, or will they approach me for spare change?" It's a real-life staring contest with questionable stakes.
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I envy drug addicts' ability to stay up for days on end. I struggle to stay awake through a movie marathon, and they're out there pulling all-nighters like it's a college finals week. Maybe they have a secret energy drink called "Contrabuzz.
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Drug addicts are like modern-day treasure hunters, always on the lookout for the next hidden gem. They're probably the only people who truly appreciate the back corners of convenience stores and those mysterious alleyways no one else dares to explore.
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Drug addicts have this incredible talent for turning everyday objects into makeshift drug paraphernalia. I struggle to assemble IKEA furniture, and they're out here engineering bongs from random household items. Maybe they missed their true calling as MacGyver's sidekick.
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You ever notice how drug addicts have mastered the art of hiding things? I can't even find my keys in my own house, but these guys can make an entire stash disappear faster than I can say "Where did I put my remote?
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