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We've all been there, right? The morning after a night of drinking too much, you check your pockets for clues like a detective solving a case. "Let's see, wallet, keys, dignity... oh wait, where did that last one go?
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The only time I enjoy waking up early is when I've had a night of drinking too much. It's not because I'm a morning person; it's just the only time I get to see the sunrise and wonder how I got home.
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Drinking too much is like ordering a pizza at 3 AM – in the moment, it seems like the best idea ever, but the next day you wake up regretting your life choices and wondering why you have so many empty beer bottles as roommates.
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You know you've had too much to drink when you start thinking you're fluent in karaoke. Suddenly, you're belting out songs you've never heard before, and the audience looks at you like you're auditioning for a musical they didn't sign up for.
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Drinking too much is like hitting the snooze button on responsibilities. It feels great in the moment, but eventually, you have to face the alarm clock of life, and it's blaring regret at full volume.
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You ever notice how when you're at a party and someone says, "I don't drink too much," it's usually right before they start telling you about their wild night that they barely remember? It's like they've got a secret handshake with the hangover.
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I recently tried a new workout routine. It's called "drinking too much water before bedtime." I've never sprinted to the bathroom with such urgency. It's the closest I've come to having a midnight marathon.
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Drinking too much is like trying to fold a fitted sheet – everyone pretends to know what they're doing, but in reality, it's just a messy situation that leaves you questioning your life.
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Have you ever noticed that hangovers have this magical ability to turn a sunny day into a personal rain cloud? It's like Mother Nature herself is judging your life choices.
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