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Just got a death threat in my inbox. It's like, come on, can't we go back to the good old days when people just disagreed over pizza toppings? Pineapple was divisive enough!
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Getting a death threat is the ultimate unsubscription from life's newsletter. It's like, "Okay, I didn't enjoy the content, but was canceling my existence really necessary?
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Ever get a death threat and think, "Well, I guess someone didn't like my lasagna recipe on the internet cooking forum"? I mean, I knew my béchamel was a bit controversial, but I didn't think it warranted a hitman.
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You ever notice how getting a death threat is like the adult version of getting a secret admirer note in school? I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but I could do without the ominous tone and the lack of signed initials.
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Just got a death threat on my voicemail. I don't know if I should be scared or impressed. I mean, who has the time to leave a detailed threat and still maintain a menacing tone for a two-minute message? Dedication!
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You know you're an adult when you receive a death threat, and your first thought is, "Great, now I have to update my emergency contact information." It's like being part of an exclusive, not-so-fun club.
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I received a death threat the other day, and I thought, "Wow, someone's really taking social media disagreements to a whole new level." I miss the days when all we got were funny cat videos.
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Getting a death threat is like finding that one sock missing after doing laundry. You're left wondering, "Where did I go wrong in life, and how did I end up in this situation?
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Ever get a death threat and think, "Well, at least someone is taking my opinions on the proper way to load a dishwasher seriously." I never knew cutlery placement could be a matter of life and death.
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