16 Jokes For Death Note

Puns

Updated on: Jul 19 2025

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Why did the Shinigami go to school? To sharpen their death note-taking skills!
Why do Shinigami hate playing cards? They can't stand a deadly hand!
Why don't Shinigami ever make good stand-up comedians? Their jokes are always deadly!
I started a Death Note book club. It's a killer read every time!
What's a Shinigami's favorite dance move? The death drop!
What's a Shinigami's favorite music genre? Soul!

Death Note: The Failed Weight Loss Plan

I tried using the Death Note to lose weight. Wrote down lose 20 pounds, but instead, I got a bunch of diet ads in my mailbox. Guess the Death Note has a sense of irony and a subscription to fitness magazines.

Death Note: The Bad Hair Day Solution

Ever had one of those days where your hair just won't cooperate? I thought the Death Note could help, so I wrote, Perfect hair day. Now, every time I go outside, I'm surrounded by hairstylists offering their services. Thanks, Death Note, I just wanted good hair, not a salon on speed dial.

Death Note: The Ultimate Relationship Tester

My girlfriend found my Death Note and thought it was some kind of hit list. I had to explain, No, babe, it's not for people; it's for those who don't replace the toilet paper or leave empty milk cartons in the fridge. It's a serious offense in this household.

Death Note: The Ultimate Homework Excuse

Remember those days when you forgot to do your homework? Well, I tried using the Death Note as an excuse. Teacher wasn't buying it. Apparently, My Death Note ate my homework isn't a valid excuse in the academic world.

Death Note: The Relationship Therapist

I thought the Death Note could help in my relationship, you know, spice things up. So, I wrote, Romantic dinner for two. But all I got was a pizza delivery guy asking if I ordered the extra cheese of fate.

Death Note: The Traffic Jam Nightmare

I tried using the Death Note to clear traffic. Wrote down smooth commute, but all it did was summon a parade of slow drivers, traffic lights turning red, and a group of squirrels having a leisurely stroll across the road. Thanks, Death Note, for turning my commute into a National Geographic documentary.

Death Note: The Failed Career Move

I thought I could use the Death Note to boost my career. Wrote, Become a stand-up comedy sensation. Instead, it turned all my jokes into dad jokes, and now my audience consists of eye-rolling teenagers and disappointed parents. Thanks, Death Note, for turning me into the comedian equivalent of a knock-knock joke.

Death Note: The Inconvenient Superpower

Having the Death Note is like having a superpower, but the most inconvenient one ever. I wrote, Always find parking space. Now, my driveway looks like a used car lot, and the neighbors are convinced I'm a parking wizard.

My Death Note and the To-Do List Dilemma

I got a Death Note as a gift once. At first, I thought it was a to-do list for the Grim Reaper, you know, like Pick up dry cleaning or Schedule apocalypse. Turns out, it's more about picking up souls than groceries. My bad, Death, my bad.

Death Note: The Ultimate Grocery List

You know, I recently discovered the ultimate grocery list - they call it the Death Note. Imagine having the power to write down any food item you desire, and it magically appears in your fridge. I tried it, but all I got was a bunch of expired yogurt and a suspicious-looking cucumber. Apparently, the Death Note has a dark sense of humor.

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