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Death Note Delivery Guy
Ensuring on-time delivery without causing accidental chaos.
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I have to be careful not to be too ominous. I knock gently and whisper, "Special delivery." One guy opened the door and shouted, "I didn't order a hitman!" I said, "No, but you might want to check your spam folder.
Detective Investigating Death Note Cases
Solving crimes where the murder weapon is a notebook, and the evidence is literally written by the victim.
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Investigating one case, the victim wrote, "Killed by a heart attack while bungee jumping naked." I thought, "Well, at least he went out with a bang... and a bounce.
Shinigami's Therapist
Dealing with death and afterlife issues while trying to keep a positive attitude.
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The other day, a Shinigami asked me, "Do you think death is a laughing matter?" I said, "Well, it depends on your sense of humor. Ever heard the one about the ghost who walked into a bar and couldn't order a drink?
Death Note Diary Seller
Trying to make a profit without revealing the deadly truth.
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My customers kept coming back, complaining like, "Your Death Note is defective; it doesn't work!" I'm like, "Did you write the cause of death as 'old age'? That's not how it works, buddy!
Death Note Fanatic at a Support Group
Balancing fandom enthusiasm with the moral dilemma of supporting a lethal item.
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We had a debate in the group: Is it ethical to use the Death Note for trivial stuff? One guy was like, "I wrote 'pizza delivery in 10 minutes or less.' Worked like a charm, but now I'm scared of the pizza guy.
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