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You ever notice how "death notes" sound like a really morbid form of reminder? Like, "Hey, don't forget to pick up milk on your way to the afterlife. PS: RIP.
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If death notes were available on Amazon, they'd probably have reviews like, "Five stars. Really helped me prioritize my demise. Would buy again.
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I asked my friend for a pen, and he handed me a death note. That's friendship for you, always looking out for your demise, one scribble at a time.
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I was thinking about starting a death note diary. You know, jotting down all the things that almost killed me during the day. Today's entry: Stubbed my toe on the coffee table. Death narrowly avoided.
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Do you think there's a death note out there for bad hair days? Like, you look in the mirror, and it just says, "Cause of death: frizz overload.
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I found a death note in my laundry. Apparently, my socks have been conspiring to strangle me in my sleep. Who knew laundry could be so sinister?
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I tried using a death note as a bookmark once. Instantly my book started turning into a horror novel. "Chapter 7: The Spine-Chilling Tale of Misplaced Literature.
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I got a death note recently. It was called my cholesterol test results. They handed it to me, and I swear, I saw my life flashing before my eyes. Turns out, it was just a montage of all the burgers I've ever eaten.
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Imagine if death notes were like to-do lists. "Number 1: Scare the living daylights out of the cat. Number 2: Haunt the fridge at midnight.
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