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Receiving a "Dear John" letter is like getting an unsolicited review of your performance in the relationship. "Thank you for your participation. Unfortunately, you did not meet our expectations.
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Getting a "Dear John" letter is like finding out your relationship is a limited edition collectible that's suddenly out of stock. "Sorry, this item is no longer available. Please check back in the 'never gonna happen' section.
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Getting a "Dear John" letter is like being on an emotional mailing list. "You have been unsubscribed from 'Love & Affection Weekly.' Please enjoy your solitude.
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Receiving a "Dear John" letter feels like your heart is an unwanted package being returned to the sender. "We regret to inform you that your emotional delivery has been refused.
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A "Dear John" letter is like the breakup equivalent of getting a software update notification: "Your relationship will be terminated to install new emotional software. Please restart your life.
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Dear John" letters should come with a return receipt, you know, just so we can confirm that our feelings have been received and rejected.
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Getting a "Dear John" letter is like trying to unsubscribe from a relationship: "Sorry, you can't unsubscribe at this time. Please try again when your heart is not in a fragile state.
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You know, receiving a "Dear John" letter is like getting a breakup delivered by a carrier pigeon from the 18th century. "My dearest John, by the time you read this, I'll have changed my relationship status to 'unavailable.'
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Getting a "Dear John" letter is like finding out your relationship has an expiration date, and it's printed in bold font at the bottom of the receipt. "Thanks for your purchase. Your love subscription has ended.
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