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Joke Types
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What's a contract's favorite game? Monopoly - they love a good property agreement.
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What's a contract's favorite type of music? Anything with good terms and conditions.
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What's a contract's favorite movie genre? Legal dramas with a twist ending.
Signature Struggles
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Signing a contract is like committing to a relationship with fine print. I don't even read half the stuff, I just scroll to the bottom and hope I'm not selling my soul for a discount on cat food. Congratulations, you now owe us seven years of good luck and two pints of blood. Enjoy your kibble savings!
Contractual Comedy Club
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Contracts are like the stand-up comedians of paperwork. They promise you a good time, make you laugh at first, and then halfway through, you're questioning your life choices. Wait, did I just agree to share my Hulu password with my neighbor's aunt's cat? What's happening?
The Contract Conundrum
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You know, I recently had to sign a contract just to use a new app. I felt like I was agreeing to marry my smartphone! I mean, forget 'til death do us part, it was more like 'til the battery dies do we part.
Legal Lingo Limbo
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Contracts are like secret codes. You need a decoder ring and a lawyer to understand them. I tried reading one once, and by the third paragraph, I was convinced I accidentally summoned a demon. Turns out, it was just the terms and conditions.
Ink Insecurity
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Signing a contract with a pen feels so official. Like, my signature could change the course of history or, at the very least, determine whether I get extra guacamole on my burrito. I always try to make my signature look important, as if I'm about to endorse the next blockbuster movie.
Fine Print Fitness
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Reading a contract is the only exercise where your eyes get a workout, and your brain gets a migraine. It's like legal calisthenics. If I had a dollar for every time I said, Wait, what did I just agree to? I'd be able to afford a personal trainer for my poor neglected brain.
Contract Clauses & Confusion
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Ever notice how contracts have those clauses that sound like they were written in riddles? In the event of a blue moon during a leap year, and only if it's raining marshmallows, both parties agree to dance the Macarena on a rooftop. I don't get it either.
Contract Confetti
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Contracts are like confetti at a party you didn't know you were attending. One minute, you're sipping your coffee, and the next, you're showered in legal jargon. It's the only party where instead of a gift bag, you leave with a lifetime supply of paperwork. Happy Contract-versary to me!
Penmanship Panic
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My handwriting is so bad that when I sign a contract, it looks like I'm giving it an autograph from a parallel universe. The worst part is, the more illegible my signature, the more official it feels. Oh, you can't read it? Must be top-secret lawyer stuff.
Contract Cuisine
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Ever notice how contracts are written in a language that no one actually speaks? It's like they dipped a dictionary in alphabet soup and said, This is how we'll communicate important stuff. I tried ordering a pizza once using contract language - turns out, they don't deliver to party of the first part.
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