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Have you ever noticed that the more important a contract is, the smaller the font gets? It's like they're playing a game of hide-and-seek with the crucial information. Good luck finding the escape clause in size 8 font!
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Contracts are basically adult treasure maps. X marks the spot where you realize you're financially obligated until the end of time. It's the only map where the real treasure is a stable credit score.
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Contracts are like love letters from lawyers. Instead of sweet nothings, you get legally binding somethings. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I hereby indemnify and hold harmless, just for you.
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Contracts are like the unsung heroes of adulting. You sign them, put them in a drawer, and hope they don't come back to haunt you. It's the closest thing we have to a magical spell – just with more lawyers.
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Contracts are like a secret code between lawyers. They throw in Latin phrases and complicated sentences just to make sure the rest of us feel like we're trying to decode the Da Vinci Contract.
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I recently read a contract that was so long, I think it had its own sequel. It was like the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, but with more legalese and fewer epic battles. Frodo wouldn't stand a chance against those terms and conditions.
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The hardest part of signing a contract is pretending to read it all. You're just there, nodding along, thinking, "Yes, yes, I agree to whatever this says, as long as I can go back to scrolling through memes on my phone.
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I wish contracts came with a laugh track. Imagine signing a document and hearing a studio audience burst into laughter every time there's a ridiculous clause. It would make the whole process a lot more entertaining.
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You ever notice signing a contract is like getting into a relationship, but with more fine print? It's like, "Do you, the undersigned, take this agreement to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in clauses?
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