10 Jokes For Communion

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jul 30 2025

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You ever try to discreetly check your teeth after taking communion? It's like, "Is this the body of Christ or did I just chomp down on a piece of the Last Supper spinach?
I always feel like a religious detective during communion. "Is this bread gluten-free? Can I have a vegan option, please? And is the wine organic or is it just a heavenly blend?
Communion feels like the ultimate food-sharing experience. It's like, "Here, let's all eat this tiny piece of bread that someone's been handling with bare hands. Unity through carbs, my friends!
Communion feels like the religious version of a snack-sized meal. It's like God's way of saying, "Here, have a nibble, but save room for the real feast in the afterlife.
Communion wine is like the sneakiest happy hour ever. "Just a sip, and suddenly you're feeling spiritual and a bit tipsy. Holy spirits, indeed!
Communion is the only time where the phrase "body and blood" is meant to be comforting. If someone said that to me at any other dinner party, I'd be calling 911.
Communion wafers are so small; they make those diet portion control plates look generous. I'm waiting for the day they hand out a whole loaf and a jug of wine – now that's a divine buffet!
Communion wine is the only time it's acceptable to make a "pour me another miracle" joke. I mean, turning water into wine is pretty divine happy hour planning.
You ever notice how communion wafers are like the unsalted crackers of the religious world? I always expect a little more flavor when connecting with the divine. Maybe some garlic or a hint of rosemary, you know, spice things up with the Holy Ghost.
I've always wondered, why do they call it a "communion wafer"? Is it because we're all silently agreeing that it tastes like cardboard but, you know, in unity?

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