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Maternity clothes are like a fashion statement that says, "I've given up on zippers and buttons." It's all about the stretchy waistbands and oversized shirts. Who knew looking like you raided your partner's closet could be so chic?
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People love to give parenting advice, especially when you're pregnant. It's like they've joined a secret society with a mission to share their wisdom. "Sleep now because you won't sleep later." Thanks, Captain Obvious, I'll get right on that.
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Being pregnant is the only time in life when it's socially acceptable for people to touch your stomach without permission. I'm just waiting for the day I can start rubbing other people's bellies in return. "Oh, congratulations on that extra slice of pizza!
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Pregnancy brain is real. I walked into a room the other day and forgot why I was there. I blame it on the baby brain, but honestly, it happens even when you're not pregnant. I call it "selective memory engagement.
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The nesting instinct during pregnancy is basically your body's way of preparing you for a lifetime of picking up toys and doing laundry. You clean the house like you're training for the Olympic sport of domestic multitasking.
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Pregnancy cravings are wild. Suddenly you find yourself in the grocery store at 3 am, desperately searching for pickles and ice cream like you're on some bizarre scavenger hunt. I didn't even like pickles before, but now they're my midnight snack superheroes.
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Baby showers are like the pre-game for parenthood. You sit there opening gifts, pretending to be thrilled about another onesie, but secretly wondering if anyone brought the real MVP - coffee that doesn't taste like regret.
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You ever notice how being pregnant turns into a public event? It's like suddenly everyone's a detective trying to crack the case of the expanding belly. "Are you having a boy or a girl?" No, Susan, I'm having a velociraptor. Surprise!
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Ultrasound photos are fascinating. It's the only time someone proudly shows you a picture of their insides, and you're expected to say, "Aww, cute!" If you showed me a photo of my liver, I wouldn't be as enthusiastic.
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