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Alexander is a master of the one-word text reply. You pour your heart out in a message, and he hits you with a "K." It's like texting a minimalist poet. I told him once, "Dude, you gotta give me more to work with." He replied, "Nah.
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You ever notice how Alexander approaches parallel parking? It's like he's playing a real-life game of Tetris. I swear, the man could fit a truck into a space meant for a tricycle. I asked him once if he ever gets nervous, and he said, "Nah, it's just urban Tetris with a splash of adrenaline.
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We were at a coffee shop, and Alexander ordered his coffee "medium" – no fancy sizes, just medium. The barista looked at him like he had just spoken an alien language. I guess when you're as chill as Alexander, you don't have time for the grande, venti, trenta drama. It's just medium, man.
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Alexander has this uncanny ability to find the most obscure facts about anything. I'm convinced he's the reason Google has a hard time keeping up. You ask him a simple question like, "What's the capital of Belgium?" and he hits you with a detailed history of waffle-making in Brussels. I guess he's the human version of "Did you mean to search for something else?
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Alexander's idea of a thrilling Friday night? Watching documentaries about beavers building dams. I asked him if he ever thought about going wild and crazy, and he said, "Oh, I did! Last weekend, I stayed up until 10:30 PM." Living on the edge, folks.
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We were at a restaurant, and Alexander ordered the chef's special without even asking what it was. When it arrived, I asked him how he knew it would be good. He said, "I trust the chef. Besides, life's too short to read every item on the menu." Well, unless you're allergic to shellfish, I guess.
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Alexander believes in the power of positive thinking. He once told me, "If life gives you lemons, just be glad it's not a pineapple. Have you seen how tough those are to peel?" I guess it's all about perspective, folks.
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So, Alexander decided to start a podcast about the most random topics. I asked him what his first episode was about, and he said, "The overlooked art of paperclip bending." I mean, I didn't even know paperclip bending was an art, let alone an overlooked one.
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You know how some people have a green thumb? Well, Alexander has a green "ignore-it-and-it'll-probably-survive" thumb. I visited his place, and I asked about his plants. He said, "Oh, they're low-maintenance. I water them whenever I remember, which is like once a month." His plants are basically on a survival reality show.
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Alexander is the guy who wears sunglasses indoors and somehow makes it look cool. I tried it once, and people just asked me if I had forgotten my glasses or if I was trying to be a rock star from the '80s. I guess some people have that mysterious aura; I just have the confused librarian look.
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