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I was thinking of delivering a eulogy at my own funeral, but then I realized it's a dead-end speech.
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Funerals are quite expensive. They really take the 'urn' out of your pocket.
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Funeral directors have a tough job. They're the last ones to let you down.
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Funerals are a lot like a game of musical chairs: the music stops, and someone's left without a seat.
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Funerals are tough. It's like the ultimate 'Goodbye, see you later' party.
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I heard the last person who laughed at a funeral was buried alive in puns.
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