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You know what's strange about funerals? The urge to whisper even though the person we're talking about isn’t really in a position to be bothered by noise. "Shh, they might hear us!" No, no they won't.
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Ever been to a funeral where the eulogy turns into a resume? "Uncle Bob was an expert at grilling, a seasoned traveler, and don't forget his award-winning salsa recipe." It's like LinkedIn for the afterlife!
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It’s interesting how funerals bring out the most creative problem-solvers. You can hear people whispering, “I wonder if we can fit two caskets in the back of that minivan. It's for a good cause, right?”
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Have you ever noticed how funeral etiquette is like a silent game of musical chairs? Everyone's standing until that one seat becomes available, and suddenly, it’s a race to sit without making it look too eager.
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You know, I've noticed something about funerals... it's the one occasion where everyone’s trying to look their best, but nobody wants to be noticed for it. It's like a fashion show where the only judge is eternal peace.
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There's always that one relative at a funeral who makes it a competition for the most tears shed. They bring extra tissues, practice dramatic sighs in the mirror, like it's the Sadness Olympics.
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Funerals are the only place where an invitation doesn’t make you happy. You get that somber envelope, and instead of celebrating, you’re thinking, "Great, there goes my Saturday.
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Funerals are probably the only place where you can have an emotional rollercoaster just by looking at the flower arrangements. "Oh, roses! How lovely." And then, "Wait, are those lilies? Oh no, that's too sad!
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Have you noticed how at a funeral, there's always someone who's an expert on every topic? "Oh, you're talking about embalming? Let me tell you, I binge-watched this whole series on it last night!" Suddenly, everyone's a specialist.
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