10 Jokes About A Doctor

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jun 03 2025

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Doctors always seem to ask, "Are you sexually active?" in the most nonchalant way possible. I feel like I should respond with a drumroll or some confetti. "Well, doc, let me tell you about my exciting adventures in the world of romance.
The waiting room at a doctor's office is like a social experiment in patience. You're sitting there, surrounded by outdated magazines, trying not to make eye contact with the person across from you who's coughing like it's the end of the world.
Doctors must have a secret stash of cotton swabs because no matter what you're there for, they always find a reason to stick one in your ear. It's like a medical initiation – welcome to the ear canal club.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about the little things, like the adjustable bed in the doctor's office. It's like a medical version of a luxury car – just missing the cup holders.
You ever notice how the doctor's office is the only place where you have to weigh yourself fully clothed? I'm over here doing mental gymnastics, subtracting the weight of my shoes and pretending my sweater is weightless.
You ever notice how when you go to the doctor's office, they hand you a gown that's basically a glorified napkin? I mean, I didn't realize I was auditioning for a role in a medical-themed high school play.
Why is it that whenever a doctor gives you a shot, they try to distract you by talking about their last vacation or the weather? I'm here for a flu shot, not a travelogue.
Going to the doctor is like playing a game of "Guess That Body Part" when they start poking and prodding. I'm just sitting there, hoping they don't mistake my knee for my elbow.
Doctors always ask you to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. Like, how am I supposed to know? Is there a pain app on my phone? "Oh, excuse me, doctor, let me just check my pain meter real quick.
Ever notice how doctors have the worst handwriting? You get a prescription, and it looks like they were writing it in the dark with their non-dominant hand. Good luck deciphering that ancient medical code.

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