5 Jokes About A Doctor

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jun 03 2025

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Small Talk in Scrubs

Awkward small talk with the doctor during examinations
I had a dentist who tried to chat while working on my teeth. I thought it was a joke at first – like, how am I supposed to answer with a mouthful of metal instruments? It's the only time I wish I could send emojis through my eyes. 😬

Scale Struggles

The anxiety of stepping on the doctor's scale
The doctor told me to lose weight. I told him my scale at home doesn't seem to have that feature. It just shows my weight and then says, "Good luck with that.

Google vs. Doctor Google

Self-diagnosing with the help of the internet
Doctor Google has this magical ability to turn a common cold into a life-threatening condition. I sneezed twice, and suddenly Google is suggesting I should be quarantined on a deserted island.

Prescription Predicaments

Deciphering doctor's handwriting on prescriptions
I asked the pharmacist what my prescription said, and he replied, "Your guess is as good as mine. I'm just going to give you something for allergies. It's safer that way.

Waiting Room Woes

The eternal wait in a doctor's waiting room
They should have a loyalty program in doctor's waiting rooms. Like, after 10 visits, you get a free coffee, or maybe a gold star sticker. I've earned at least a sticker by now.

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