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As a parent, I've become a master negotiator. Forget about the UN solving international crises; I just successfully negotiated a bedtime extension with a toddler.
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Being a parent means attending events you never thought you'd be at, like a school play where your child plays the role of "Tree #3." Spoiler alert: Tree #3 steals the show.
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The floor of my car looks like a crumb crime scene. I call it "Operation Snack Attack: Undercover in the Minivan.
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I love how my kids ask for a snack as if they're preparing for a marathon. "Can I get some grapes, a cheese stick, and maybe a yogurt? I need to refuel.
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Parenting tip: If you want to experience the thrill of a roller coaster without leaving your home, just ask your child to put on their own shoes. The twists, turns, and unexpected delays are all there.
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The laundry basket in my house is like a time capsule of forgotten treasures. It's not just dirty clothes; it's a museum of mismatched socks and lost toys.
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You know you're a parent when you can recite the entire plot of "Peppa Pig" in your sleep, and you haven't even watched it voluntarily.
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Kids have this magical ability to sense when you're on an important work call and decide it's the perfect time to reenact a dinosaur stampede in the living room.
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Parenting is like having a personal trainer who follows you around, constantly asking, "Are you sure you need that extra cookie?" Yes, I'm sure, but I'll hide it in the pantry like a ninja.
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