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The Amnesiac Ex
When your ex conveniently forgets their flaws in the relationship
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Ever met someone who revises history? My ex is like a relationship historian. According to her, our breakup was a mutual decision. Yeah, I remember it differently. I distinctly recall her saying, "It's not me, it's you.
The Clingy Ex
Dealing with an ex who just can't let go
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My ex is like a time traveler. She can make a text from three years ago feel like it just arrived in my inbox. "Remember that time we had pizza?" No, Karen, I've had pizza since then. It's not a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
The Social Media Stalker Ex
When your ex follows your every move online
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My ex is on Snapchat like she's running an espionage operation. She saw my story and texted, "I see you went out last night." I replied, "Well, yeah, it was Saturday." She said, "I prefer when your social life is a mystery." Sorry, I'm not starring in a suspense thriller for your entertainment.
The DIY Therapist Ex
When your ex thinks they are the solution to all your problems
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According to my ex, she's the ultimate breakup healer. She said, "I can mend your heart." I replied, "I appreciate the offer, but last time you tried, you broke it in three more places.
The Friendly Ex
When your ex wants to be best friends, but you're not on the same page
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Trying to be friends with your ex is like quicksand. The more you try to escape, the deeper you sink into awkward conversations. "Remember that time we held hands?" No, and let's keep it that way.
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