55 Jokes For What Do You Call A Woman With

Updated on: Jul 08 2025

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Meet Alice, a delightful woman who adored both literature and her energetic golden retriever, Max. One sunny day, she ventured into the town's library with Max in tow. The librarian, a stickler for the rules, glanced at Alice and sternly asked, "What do you call a woman with a dog and a library card?" Unfazed, Alice cheerfully replied, "A well-read dog lover?"
The librarian, unamused, retorted, "No, you call her a disturbance!" Unbeknownst to Alice, the canine bibliophile had inadvertently become the star of a chaotic storytime session. Max, thrilled with the attention, chased his tail around the romance section, knocking over stacks of books like a furry literary tornado. The town, although disrupted, soon grew to appreciate Max's unique storytelling style, turning the library into the go-to spot for "tail"-telling adventures.
In a quaint town, Margot, an eccentric artist with an affinity for amphibians, strolled through the local market. Her vibrant personality was only rivaled by her collection of eccentric hats, each adorned with a unique creature. One day, she sauntered in with a particularly lively frog perched atop her head, attracting curious glances from the townsfolk.
As she passed a group of gossiping old ladies, one huffed and said, "What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?" The question lingered in the air like an unsolved riddle, leaving the ladies giggling. However, the joke was lost on Margot, who, in her whimsical world, thought it was the latest fashion compliment. She began wearing the frog proudly, blissfully unaware that the town now considered her the trendsetter for 'ribbit chic.'
In the eccentric laboratory of Dr. Olivia Timebender, a brilliant physicist with a penchant for experimentation, a curious journalist inquired, "What do you call a woman with a time machine?" Dr. Timebender, wearing her futuristic goggles, replied, "I don't know yet; I haven't decided on a name for it."
As the journalist scribbled notes, a sudden whirring sound echoed through the room. Dr. Timebender's experimental time machine malfunctioned, causing a comical ripple effect. Past and future versions of herself appeared simultaneously, creating a chaotic but humorous temporal entanglement. Amidst the confusion, Dr. Timebender quipped, "Apparently, you call her 'confused but never bored!'" The journalist left the laboratory with a time-travel-induced hairstyle and a story that transcended the bounds of both space and comedy.
In a bustling city, Samantha, an ambitious window cleaner, navigated the skyscrapers with unmatched agility. Her secret weapon: a trusty ladder that she carried everywhere, even under her chic business attire. As she descended from the ladder one day, a passerby smirked and asked, "What do you call a woman with a ladder in her tights?" Samantha, always quick-witted, responded with a chuckle, "Someone with a 'step' in the right direction!"
Little did she know, her ladder had created a fashionable hole in her tights, giving the illusion of intentional ladder-like patterns. The fashion-forward city dwellers, thinking it was the latest trend, soon started emulating Samantha's ladder-chic style, turning torn tights into the must-have accessory of the season.
You ever notice how these "What do you call a woman with" jokes always seem to tiptoe on the edge of something questionable? I had a friend throw one at me the other day: "What do you call a woman with ambition?" And I'm thinking, "This is a trick, right?" So, cautiously, I say, "I don't know, what?" And they hit me with, "An anomaly!" An anomaly? Come on, now. Ambition is not reserved for just one gender. We're living in the 21st century; let's update our punchlines, people!
I've realized these "What do you call a woman with" jokes are like a comedy minefield. You step on one, and who knows what'll happen? So, my buddy asks me, "What do you call a woman with intelligence?" And I think, "Alright, let's handle this one carefully." I reply, "A human being with a well-functioning brain?" And they say, "No, a unicorn!" I'm just waiting for the day when these jokes evolve into something like, "What do you call a woman with interstellar travel capabilities?" And I'll be like, "An astronaut, you outdated jokester!
You ever notice how some questions just set you up for trouble? Like, "What do you call a woman with?" I mean, that's just asking for trouble right off the bat. I tried it once, innocently enough, and my friend goes, "What do you call a woman with an opinion?" And I'm like, "Uh-oh, here we go." But hey, I'm not falling for that trap again. Now, when someone asks me that, I just say, "A human being with thoughts and feelings—novel concept, right?
So, the other day, someone hit me with the classic, "What do you call a woman with?" I thought, "Okay, let's keep it light." So I go, "What do you call a woman with a sense of humor?" And they say, "I don't know, what?" And I say, "My kind of person, because laughter is the best medicine, and we all need a good dose of it, especially when dealing with these 'What do you call' jokes.
What do you call a woman with a map? Directionally gifted!
What do you call a woman who owns a fruit stand? Berrylicious!
What do you call a woman who knows karate? Hi-yah Harriet!
What do you call a woman with a singing career? Melody!
What do you call a woman who loves flowers? Petal Pusher!
What do you call a woman with a map of the stars? Celestia!
What do you call a woman who loves coffee? Java Jane!
What do you call a woman who's great at tennis? Court-ney!
What do you call a woman with a green thumb? Flora!
What do you call a woman with a loud laugh? Chortling Charlotte!
What do you call a woman with a knack for fixing things? Tool-time Trudy!
What do you call a woman who's a master baker? Dough-linda!
What do you call a woman with a collection of hats? Mad Hattie!
What do you call a woman with a great sense of humor? Comedy Kate!
What do you call a woman who loves the ocean? Wave-loving Wanda!
What do you call a woman who always knows the latest gossip? Whispering Wendy!
What do you call a woman on a beach? Sandy!
What do you call a woman with a ladder? Stair-a!
What do you call a woman who loves to solve puzzles? Riddle me Rita!
What do you call a woman with a telescope? Far-seeing Fiona!
What do you call a woman with a clock for a belt? Waist of time!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to her bills? Bernadette!

What do you call a woman with a lot of cats?

Navigating the fine line between cat lady and cat enthusiast
A woman with a lot of cats told me she's considering opening a bakery. She said she's already an expert at kneading.

What do you call a woman with a passion for baking?

Juggling the love for sweets and staying fit
I asked a woman with a passion for baking how she stays in shape. She said, "I lift a fork... to my mouth.

What do you call a woman with a sense of humor?

Balancing laughter and seriousness
I met a woman with a sense of humor who worked at a zoo. She said her favorite animal was the stand-up giraffe.

What do you call a woman with a green thumb?

Navigating the fine line between gardening enthusiast and plant whisperer
A woman with a green thumb once said, "I have a plant for every mood." I guess she's the original mood ring gardener.

What do you call a woman with a collection of shoes?

Balancing fashion and practicality
A woman with a collection of shoes once told me she's considering a career change. She wants to be a sole proprietor.

What do you call a woman with

What do you call a woman with a map? I don't know, but she's probably the one who's going to save us when the GPS inevitably says, You have reached your destination, and we're in the middle of nowhere.

What do you call a woman with

You know, I asked Siri this question once, and she just responded, I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Come on, Siri, I'm just trying to avoid being politically incorrect here. I don't need you getting all politically vague on me.

What do you call a woman with

You ever wonder what to call a woman with? I mean, who's going around labeling women like they're canned goods? Excuse me, can I get a can of 'woman with' please? Oh, and make sure it's the organic, gluten-free, non-GMO version.

What do you call a woman with

You know, it's a tricky question. I mean, what's the context here? Are we finishing a sentence, starting a joke, or is this some bizarre game of charades? What do you call a woman with... and now everyone's just staring at me like I'm supposed to guess. I don't know, Susan, what do you call a woman with?

What do you call a woman with

What do you call a woman with a cat? A cat lady, right? But if a man has a cat, suddenly he's a pet enthusiast. Why does he get a sophisticated title, and she gets a stereotype?

What do you call a woman with

What do you call a woman with a time machine? I don't know, but can she please take me back to the days when I didn't have bills to pay and could eat an entire pizza without consequences? Time travel priorities, people.

What do you call a woman with

What do you call a woman with a dog named Bark Twain? Probably someone who enjoys literary puns and late-night walks. Also, can I borrow your dog? I need to impress my neighbors.

What do you call a woman with

What do you call a woman with a hammer? Someone who can fix things, unlike me. I'm the guy who looks at a leaky faucet and thinks, Well, I guess we're renovating the kitchen now.

What do you call a woman with

I feel like this is the setup for a punchline that's trying too hard. Like, What do you call a woman with a sense of humor? A 'laughing stock.' Seriously, who writes this stuff? My grandpa in the 1950s?

What do you call a woman with

What do you call a woman with a PhD? Way more qualified than I am, that's what. And here I am, struggling to figure out what to call her other than boss because she's the one signing my paychecks.
What do you call a woman with a plant at home that actually thrives? The botanical genius. My plants see me coming, and they start shedding leaves out of fear.
You ever wonder what do you call a woman with a sense of humor so sharp it could cut through steel? A stand-up comedian. I mean, seriously, you don't mess with that level of wit!
What do you call a woman who can assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions? The flat-pack sorceress. Meanwhile, I need a degree in architecture just to put together a bookshelf.
Ever met a woman who can effortlessly navigate through a mall without getting lost? What do you call her? The shopping sherpa. I'm over here relying on breadcrumbs to find my way back to the food court.
What do you call a woman with the ability to find anything in her purse on the first try? A magician. I'm convinced there's a parallel universe in there where everything has its designated spot.
Have you ever met a woman with a collection of shoes that could rival a small footwear store? What do you call her? Imelda Marcos 2.0 - The Sole Queen. I didn't even know there were that many types of shoes!
What do you call a woman with an uncanny ability to remember everyone's birthday and their favorite cake? The human calendar app. I can barely remember where I left my keys!
What do you call a woman who can parallel park on a busy street in one smooth motion? A parking prodigy. Meanwhile, I'm out here doing the parallel panic shuffle.
Have you ever met a woman who can binge-watch an entire series in one sitting without moving an inch? What do you call her? The couch conqueror. I can barely make it through a movie without three snack breaks.
You know what's impressive? A woman with a cat that actually comes when it's called. What do you call her? The feline whisperer. I can barely get my dog to sit; she's over there having conversations with her cat.

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