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The Awkward Ex
Navigating through past relationships during the toast
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They say you should speak from the heart. I did that, literally. I ended my speech with, "May your marriage be as strong as my restraining order." The bride fake-laughed, the groom whispered, "I thought we changed our number.
The Nervous Father of the Bride
Holding back tears while trying to be funny
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Trying to be hip, I threw in a dad joke. "Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one." My daughter's mother shot me a look that said, "You're still in trouble.
The Bored Wedding Guest
Trying to stay awake during a long wedding speech
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The father of the bride was going on about how marriage is a journey. I looked at my watch and thought, "This journey feels like a cross-country road trip with no rest stops." I considered pretending to faint just for some entertainment.
The Overwhelmed Maid of Honor
Juggling responsibilities and avoiding wardrobe malfunctions
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My biggest fear was a wardrobe malfunction. I tripped on my way to the podium, and my dress strap broke. I shouted, "I guess you could say my speech is now strapless and candid!" The bride was mortified; the groom's grandma winked at me.
The Over-Excited Best Man
Balancing enthusiasm and appropriateness
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I wanted to keep it emotional, you know? So, I said, "Marriage is like a rollercoaster. Exciting, a bit scary, and you're stuck with the person next to you." The bride laughed; the groom shot me a look that said, "You're next.
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