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Joke Types
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What's a ventriloquist's favorite subject in school? 'Speak'ing classes!
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What's a ventriloquist's favorite book? 'The Silence of the Lamb Chops'!
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Why did the ventriloquist go to school? To improve his dummy's vocabulary!
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Why did the ventriloquist's performance get delayed? His dummy needed a little time to vent!
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Did you hear about the ventriloquist who opened a bakery? His specialty was 'talking' bread!
Inanimate Insights
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People say ventriloquists give voices to the voiceless. I say they just make it easier for inanimate objects to complain about being manhandled!
Double Trouble
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You know it's bad when you argue with your own puppet, and you lose. I mean, imagine getting outwitted by someone you've been stuffing your hand into!
Puppet's Revenge
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If a ventriloquist ever asks you to hold their puppet, be careful. That puppet has seen things, and if it talks, you might find yourself in a wooden situation!
Ventriloquist Troubles
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Have you ever seen a ventriloquist argue with his dummy? Now that's a real conversation where one's finally got a voice and the other one wishes it had batteries!
Late-Night Arguments
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My neighbor's a ventriloquist, and I can always tell when he's had an argument with his dummy. It’s not the yelling; it’s the wooden silence that follows!
Puppet Party
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Ever notice how a ventriloquist's puppet never needs therapy? I mean, it’s always talking, but at least it doesn’t have to pay someone to listen!
Mismatched Conversations
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I tried dating a ventriloquist once. It was confusing. Every time she said she loved me, I wasn’t sure if it was her or the puppet. Either way, I felt manipulated!
Behind the Scenes
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I once peeked backstage during a ventriloquist show. It's like a high-stakes poker game but with more wood and less facial expressions!
Lost Voice
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I asked a ventriloquist what it’s like to lose his voice. He said, It’s like being in a relationship where you're only allowed to talk when you’re not moving your lips!
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