18 Ventriloquist Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jan 18 2025

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What's a ventriloquist's favorite subject in school? 'Speak'ing classes!
How does a ventriloquist make a phone call? With a 'dia-logue' phone!
What's a ventriloquist's favorite book? 'The Silence of the Lamb Chops'!
What do you call a ventriloquist's dummy with a cold? A snotty talker!
Why did the ventriloquist go to school? To improve his dummy's vocabulary!
Why did the ventriloquist's performance get delayed? His dummy needed a little time to vent!
Did you hear about the ventriloquist who opened a bakery? His specialty was 'talking' bread!
How does a ventriloquist's dummy send a message? Through 'mail' voices!

Inanimate Insights

People say ventriloquists give voices to the voiceless. I say they just make it easier for inanimate objects to complain about being manhandled!

Double Trouble

You know it's bad when you argue with your own puppet, and you lose. I mean, imagine getting outwitted by someone you've been stuffing your hand into!

Puppet's Revenge

If a ventriloquist ever asks you to hold their puppet, be careful. That puppet has seen things, and if it talks, you might find yourself in a wooden situation!

Ventriloquist Troubles

Have you ever seen a ventriloquist argue with his dummy? Now that's a real conversation where one's finally got a voice and the other one wishes it had batteries!

Late-Night Arguments

My neighbor's a ventriloquist, and I can always tell when he's had an argument with his dummy. It’s not the yelling; it’s the wooden silence that follows!

Puppet Party

Ever notice how a ventriloquist's puppet never needs therapy? I mean, it’s always talking, but at least it doesn’t have to pay someone to listen!

Mismatched Conversations

I tried dating a ventriloquist once. It was confusing. Every time she said she loved me, I wasn’t sure if it was her or the puppet. Either way, I felt manipulated!

Behind the Scenes

I once peeked backstage during a ventriloquist show. It's like a high-stakes poker game but with more wood and less facial expressions!

Lost Voice

I asked a ventriloquist what it’s like to lose his voice. He said, It’s like being in a relationship where you're only allowed to talk when you’re not moving your lips!

Silent Disagreements

You think your in-laws are tough? Try having a ventriloquist as a mother-in-law. When she disagrees with you, her puppet gives you the silent treatment!

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